Maurako: Rebuild II
Saturday, March 30th, 2019
Kenny Logger paces around directing the workers as they haul boards, creating piles that will hopefully turn into housing units in the near future. It has been 24 hours since the first boat arrived on the island, but the citizens of Maurako Island are already growing tired of the tent life. A smaller boat is spotted docking to the island.
Citizen 1: I’m hungry.
Citizen 2: We’ve been working all day. Can we stop for a break?
Kenny Logger: The more we work, the sooner our living spaces have been built. But have no fear, I believe lunch has arrived.
Mario Maurako steps off the boat and makes his way inland and approaches Kenny. Kenny grabs a coaches whistle from around his neck and blows it. He swirls his finger in the air and points over to the boat Mario just stepped off of and a crew of people start heading toward the boat.
Citizen 3: I wonder what we are getting to eat?
Mario Maurako: It’s Little Caesars.
Citizen 4: Well, that’s better than nothing.
Citizen 1: Yeah, only the 3rd best Pizza for us.
The citizens are heading past Mario, on their way to the boat when Mario stops the small group.
Mario Maurako: Wait up, are you implying that Pizza Hut is #1 simply because they are the most well known?
Citizen 1: We came out here for an oasis, and we are getting fed 3rd rate Pizza.
The cynical words virtually slap Mario across the face.
Mario Maurako: What’s your name good citizen?
Citizen 1: I don’t know, do I even have one now since I’ve apparently lost everything else since renouncing my US Citizenship.
Mario Maurako: Good Point! Then I shall bestow you with a new name!
Mario pauses for a brief moment contemplating the name that he should give the man.
Mario Maurako: I will call you Thomas, after that “Doubting Thomas” fellow from the Bible.
Thomas: Oh gee, thanks. Can I go eat 3rd rate Pizza now?
Mario Maurako: You may go for now Thomas the doubter, but I will have you know, that at some point in the future, you will come to appreciate these things.
Thomas: I doubt that.
Kenny whips out a “Hello My Name Is” sticker and writes “Thomas” on it and then slaps it on the citizens chest.
Kenny Logger: Now run along Thomas before the food is all gone and you get nothing.
Thomas and the rest of his group scurry off the haul pizzas from the boat back up to the island. Mario looks at the name tag that is on Kenny’s chest.
Mario Maurako: Say there Kenny, what’s your last name and where were you from?
Kenny Logger: It’s Kenny Logger; formerly from Boston sir.
Mario Maurako: Boston eh? I know it’s a big city, but you don’t happen to know that fucking backstabbing bum Steve MacKinnon, do you?
Kenny takes a second to ponder the name, as if he is thumbing through some sort of mental rolodex. For the kids out there that don’t know that is, it is essentially a rotating device used to store contact information. You know, before computers and cell phones were commonplace.
Kenny Logger: No, I can’t say that the name rings a bell.
Mario Maurako: Marvelous! He’s a fuck stick anyhow. But I digress. You certainly are doing a swell job here so far.
Kenny Logger: Well thank you. I’ve found a few of the citizens to be skilled in the trades and they are assisting me.
Mario Maurako: Oh yeah? Did you find any Masons? I’ve got some big plans for them if you do.
Kenny Logger: Operative or Speculative?
Mario’s face contorts, confused by the question that Kenny has just asked.
Mario Maurako: Uh, Operative I guess.
Kenny Logger: Oh, most definitely.
Mario Maurako: And what if I would’ve said ‘speculative’?
Kenny Logger: Well then I wouldn’t have had an answer for you.
Mario Maurako: I like the cut of your jib, Kenny. Walk with me, talk with me.
The two start to walking towards the sea of white tents while continuing their conversation.
Mario Maurako: I’m glad you joined our project. You seem like the right man for the job.
Kenny Logger: Oh yeah, this stuff comes easy to me.
Mario Maurako: Great, well since your guys are on break I really just wanted to vent to you.
Kenny Logger: About what?
Mario Maurako: This HOW Tournament. I’m feeling all this pressure. I’m the 12th seed in a 23 person tournament. That’s not the problem. The problem is that I’m kind of on my own in this thing and I haven’t won a match on my own in… well… Since December? Right around there. On top of that, I’m being completely ignored by a 21 seed!
Kenny Logger: Really?
Mario Maurako: Yeah, I know I’ve had my ups and downs but for the love of the God of HOW I’m the most dangerous fucking 12 seed in the history of 12 seeds!
Kenny Logger: I mean, you look like I don’t want to mess with you.
Mario suddenly stops walking as Kenny continues. Kenny notices that he is the only one walking and stops and turns around and looks back at Mario, who has a very stern look on his brow.
Mario Maurako: You don’t want to mess with me.
Mario Maurako: I’m just fucking with you man.
Mario starts walking again and pats Kenny on the arm, like they are long time friends.
Mario Maurako: No, but seriously, don’t mess with me or I will kill you. This is my Island and I can do whatever I want and nobody would even know. Got it?
Kenny swallows hard.
Kenny Logger: I got it. I wouldn’t dream of it Mario.
Mario Maurako: Oh I know that man, I’m just playing around. But I’m not going to be fucking playing around with Graham Clauson. If that guy wants to fuckin’ ignore me, a former HOW Champion, and only worry about his little powerpuff girl friends at the other end of the bracket.
Mario and Kenny start walking again, and after a few steps something pops up from beneath the dirt. They stop gain and Kenny bends down and starts to tug on what looks to be a piece of sheet metal. Mario begins to help him and within a few seconds they remove a large metal sign. Kenny holds it up and Mario takes a look. It reads “Whack-o-Meter” across the top and there are hooks for where you used to be able to hang up the numbers to display.
Mario Maurako: THE WHACK-O-METER!!!! I haven’t seen this thing in a long time!
Mario rips the sign out of Kenny’s hands and lays it back on the ground and then pulls Kenny back so that he can admire it from a distance.
Mario Maurako: Isn’t she beautiful?
Kenny Logger: I’m not going to lie, I’m not entirely sure what she is.
Mario Maurako: Jesus Kenny, have you been living under a rock? Wait… you said you’re formerly from Boston, so I guess that answer is yes. I’ll fill you in some time, it’s a long titillating story. Anyhow, where was I?
Mario appears to be retracing their conversation in his head prior to the discovery of the Maurako Island relic.
Mario Maurako: Oh yeah! These fuckers in the tournament. So yeah I’m being ignored and insulted but the 21 Seed. Scotty at least showed up on my turf and gave me this.
Mario points to the seven stitches on his forehead.
Mario Maurako: That must mean he is at least a little concerned that I could be back at full strength. I’m not going to believe you anyhow if you tried to convince me otherwise.
Kenny stops and grabs Mario’s shoulder and turns him around to face him.
Kenny Logger: Listen Mario, relax. A little pressure is good and will help you perform at your peak. You need to follow up with a good showing for Lee, I get it. Clearly, you know what you’re doing. So just relax, go out there, and apply all that you’ve learned over your many years of wrestling. I have faith in you, as does everyone here on Maurako Island. Well except for maybe Thomas, he seems to doubt everything.
Mario smiles and appears to feel at ease.
Mario Maurako: Thanks Kenny, I really appreciate that.
Kenny Logger: No problem Mario. But listen Lunch break is about over so I should get back to telling these people what to do so we can start to get these houses built.
Mario Maurako: Yeah yeah, don’t let me hold you. You go do that thing we brought you here to do.
Kenny turns and starts to walk back towards the citizens of Maurako Island.
Mario Maurako: Oh hey, Kenny?
Kenny stops and turns back around.
Kenny Logger: Yeah?
Mario Maurako: Touch me again without permission and I’ll stab your eyeball out with a toothpick, like is an h’orderve and let Lee Best skull fuck you. He seems to like that shit.
Kenny starts laughing and starts to turn away again.
Kenny Logger: Good one Mario!
Mario Maurako: I’m fucking serious. Don’t ever touch me again.
Kenny Logger: Yes sir. Sorry Sir.
Kenny turns and heads back towards the beach as Mario glares at him.