March to Glory

March 16th 2009 live from The Best Arena
March to Glory Monday 16th Mar 2009
The Best Arena, Chicago IL
Opening up…

The HOTv logo gives way to the banner for March to Glory and Joe Hoffman and Big Buff Benny Newell welcome everyone to first Pay Per View for HOW under the HOTv network umbrella.

Joe Hoffman:

Welcome everyone to March to Glory!!!!

HOW cameras pan across The Best Arena as the fans are already amped up and everyone seems to be holding up a sign as the cameras continue to pan up and down the arena as frenzied fans hold up their signs in hopes of making it on the PPV telecast…and a few do.

“Falling Starr 2night”

“Faze of HOW”

“Hail to the Kael”

“Black on Black Crime”

“I paid for America..where is he?”

“MMM beat my mother”

“Graystone is my uncle”

“I paid for Ducks Bus”

Fireworks finish going off inside The Best Arena and the crowd erupts into boos as Undead by Hollywood Dead begins playing and the founder of High Octane Wrestling makes his way out.

Joe Hoffman:

Well that certainly is one way to kick off the show!!

Big Buff:

C’mon Joe this is Lee’s company and you think that this show would start any other way?

Joe Hoffman:

Hey max is co owner too you now. He could easily have started off the show as well?

Benny just looks at Joe if he just said Barney was the big yellow dinosaur and shakes his head as Lee makes his way out to the top of the entrance ramp with microphone in hand.

Lee smiles as the crowd continues to boo as the leader of the Best Alliance motions for his music to stop playing and as it does the crowd boos even louder as the co-owner tries to talk over the crowd.

Lee Best:

Thank you for that warm reception and welcome everyone to March to Glory!!

The crowd boos louder as Lee smirks and continues..

Lee Best:

Tonight is an historic event as the very first PPV is airing live here inside MY arena and on MY network!!

Lee pauses as the crowd continues to boo..

Lee Best:

Boo me all you want but you have to realize that you are booing the man that has single handily brought HOW to the top of the mountain and literally started a 24/7 wrestling network with all original programming featuring shows not only from HOW but other promotions such as Ringside Wrestling, Saints Haven and the Primetime Wrestling League…with more to come…

The crowd stops booing as they settle into their seats and are literally listening to each word the owner of HOTv speaks.

Lee Best:

Tonight will end with a Best Alliance member retaining the World Title and it will start here in a few minutes as the HOV will come to life and we will be taken live to the Alamo where my commissioner and LSD Champion Scott Woodson will once again defeat America inside the famous walls of the Alamo.

The crowd actually starts cheering as the AoA have nothing but heat with the Chicago crowd.

Lee Best:

Before we go live to the opening match I wanted to come out here and make an announcement in regards to Besty. She was meant to come out here tonight and literally suck off Darkwing but luckily for the Duck Bobbinette Carey felt bad for him enough that she sent me a nice lump sum of cash….but that doesn’t mean that Besty ….a very hungry Besty at that….will not be used tonight.

Big Buff:

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Joe can only shake his head as Lee continues…

Lee Best:

But tonight is not about Besty as tonight is about HOW airing its first show on HOTv and thus begin our ratings dominance in HOTv. Tonight we will make history and tonight when everything is said and done…The Best Alliance and HOW as a whole will be the champions of the wrestling world…

Lee tips the microphone to the fans and turns towards the HOV and points towards it and it suddenly comes alive as its time for the LSD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH INSIDE THE ALAMO!!

Scottywood© – 0% v Christopher America – 0%

The camera feed switches to the Alamo in Texas, the broken down ruins of the old American fort coming into focus. Though once a great fortress that stood against the Armies of Mexico, now it is little more then an old chapel where the match will be taking place. HOW Security and T.V. crews can be seen standing outside of the Capel as introductions are made. A Mexican man wearing a gold and white tuxedo steps toward the Cameras as he lifts the mic to his mouth.

Mexican Announcer: Hola y recepción al Álamo! Introducción primero. LSD Champion Scottywood!

Scottywood steps forward just outside of the chapel and holds his arm up in the air, hockeystick in hand. Back at the arena boos can be heard from the live crowd.

Mexican Announcer: Ahora presentar a su opositor, capitán América!

However there appears to be no appearance from Christopher America as security and the cameras search for him. Suddenly someone points up toward the roof of the Alamo chapel.

Christopher America: REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!

Christopher America swings down from the top of the Alamo using a large old rope. Scottywood turns just in time to get intercepted by the swinging America who tackles Scotty to the ground in a heap of dirt and dust!

Benny Newell: NO FAR! SCOTTYWOOD WASN’T READY!

Joe Hoffman: All is far in love and war, Benny, and this is war!

The Mexican announcer runs away screaming, obviously terrified by Christopher’s attack on Scottywood. Back at the arena a bell rings indicating that the match has begun. Christopher America mounts Scottywood and begins punching him in the head. Back at the arena an uneasy set of cheers erupt with the Commish being attacked however Scottywood acted quickly.

In a quick motion Scottywood swings his hockystick up across the back of his head with a snapping noise.

Benny Newell: That a boy Scottywood, fuck him up!

Joe Hoffman: Benny, its still a bit too early to tell if Scottywood is going to fuck anyone up!

America falls to the side holding the back of his head as Scottywood rolls away holding his hockystick against his chest. The security team forms a ring around them in the courtyard as American slowly pulled himself too his feet. Scottywood rolls up and tests his face to make sure he is no bleeding before he turns his eyes on America charging forward. America turns and notices just in time to lean forward and flip Scottywood over his back.

Scottywood lands in a heap on the group in a cloud of dust. America, still dazed, wanders away toward the front doors of the Chapel to get away from Scottywood. Scottywood pulls himself up, leaning on his hockey stick as he does. He notices America stumbling away and proceeds after him, stalking his prey with evil intentions.

Joe Hoffman: America is going to want to put some distance between himself and Scottywood while Scottywood has that hockey stick at his side.

Benny Newell: Thats kind of obvious don’t you think Jackass?! He would want to put distance between himself and Scottywood anyway given that Scottywood could beat him with his barehands anyway!

Joe Hoffman: There are a few folks that would disagree with that Newell..

Benny Newell: Really? WEll they can just suck my left nut..

Joe Hoffman: Benny!

Benny Newell: ITS PPV BABY!

Back at the Alamo America and escaped into the old chapel before Scottywood could get to him. Cautiously moving foward Scottywood pushes his way through the two doors.

Security: WATCH OUT!

One of the Security guards manages to let out a yell as Scottywood drops to the ground, an All American Wooden Bat swing for the fenses coming over his head, striking the wall as Christopher America attempts to surprise Scottywood. America, not slowly down, swings down at Scottywood who is forced to roll away as the bat hits only wooden floorboards. Scotty rolls up to his feet and turns to stare down Christopher America.

Both men square off now in the old chapel, Scotty armed with a Canadian Hockeystick while America is armed with an American Baseball Bat. Both men seemed to measure eachother up before charging. America swings his baseball bat as Scottywood swings his Hockeystick. The two of them lock into a desperate stuggle against eachother.

Benny Newell: This is an EPIC FIGHT!..wait.. FUCK!

Joe Hoffman: Epic, Newell?

Benny Newell: Fuck off, Joe! I didn’t mean it!

Joe Hoffman: It’s ok Benny, it slips in there..

Benny Newell: FUCK OFF!

Scottywood and America are face and face when suddenly Scottywood kicks America in the groin causing America to drop his baseball bat. He stumbles back holding his crotch as Scottywood swings his hockeystick across the back of Christopher with a snapping sound. America falls over screaming as Scottywood lifts the hockeystick across America’s back once again!

CRACK!

Again he lifts the hockeystick and brings it down across America’s back!

CRACK!

The stick splitters and shatters this third time as Scottywood tosses the hockeystick to the side. Scottywood kicks America over onto his back and drops down to pin him. Joel Hortega jumps onto scene and drops down to make the pin!

Uno…

dos…

KICKOUT!!!

America gets his arms up as he rolls over onto his side. Scottywood jumps up and grabs Joel by the collar screaming at him. Joel, obviously unaware of what is going on, just holds his hands up unsure what to do. American starts to crawl away while Scottywood his distracted, holding his back which is red from the beating he just recieved from Scottywood.

Benny Newell: Come on! That god damn Hortega!!

Joe Hoffman: He got his shoulder up before the two count Benny, there is nothing shadey about that!

Scottywood shoves Hortega away and turns around grabbing Scottywood by the ankle. He drags him away from the pews he was heading toward. America turns onto his back and kicks Scottywood in the chest knocking him away. Christopher drags himself up to his feet, arching his back slightly as it is clear it still stings. Scottywood recovers from being kicked and charges toward America only to get himself hip tossed into a grouping of pews causing them to clatter together.

Scottywood lets out a yell as he crashes through the wood of the pews. Chrispher charges forward and dives onto Scottywood, tacking him through the broken pews as wood splinters off into both men. America rolls ontop of Scottywood rolling him up for a pin.

Uno..

dos..

KICKOUT!!!

Scottywood throws his arm up as America pulls himself up grabbing a piece of broken wood. He steps away from Scotty, staggering slightly with the sharp wood in his hand. Scottywood stands, blood seeping from his back from the splintered wood. He turns as America charges forward striking Scotty across the face with the jagged piece of wood lacerating Scotty who is immediately knocked to the floor bleeding!

Joe Hoffman: Christopher America using a piece of wood across his face just jabbing Scottywood!

Benny Newell: FUCK! THATS NOT RIGHT!

Joe Hoffman: It is what it is Benny!

America looks at the wood shard in his hand for a moment before he looks down at Scottywood who is holding his face and screaming about not being able to see. America lifts the wood and takes aim before jamming it down onto Scottywood’s head once again causing Scottywood to scream again.

Benny Newell: This is sick! Fucking sick! God fucking damn it, he is our commish! You can’t stab the commissioner!

Joe Hoffman: Scottywood got himself into this match and now he is going to have to find a way to get out of it.. America is looking determined to take that title from Scottywood tonight.

America kicks Scottywood in the gut once more and drops down again, hooking his leg to try and score the pin.. Hortega moves over.

Uno…

dos…

tres!!

NO KICKOUT!

Hortega indicates to America that Scottywood did kick out!

Joe Hoffman:…I.. I don’t want to countermand the Referee on duty but I do think America just scored a pin fall on Scottywood.

Benny Newell: Fuck off! Hortega says that he kicked out!

Joe Hoffman: But.. he did

Benny Newell: SHUT UP! Where is my wiskey!

Back at the Alamo, America is yelling at Hortega who seems to be ignoring him. Scottywood slowly drags himself up, blood dripping from his face as he stumbles around the rubble of the wood. America turns around to eye Scottywood when Hortega picks up a piece of wood shattering off the back of America’s head!

America drops to the ground holding his head as Hortega stands over him looking shocked at what he just did. A few mexican security guards cheer Hortega and pull out Mexican flags waving them around as Scottywood looks aorund confused.

Joe Hoffman:..t..the Mexicans have retaken the Alamo!?

Benny Newell: Well.. Fuck! For once I am glad to see some Foreigners taking American Property!

Joe Hoffman: Uh.. for those folks that do not know the Alamo was taken by the Mexican Military during the Mexican Texas wars in the 19th Century.. Hense the call Remember the Alamo..

Hortega blinks for a moment before he walks over to Scottywood who sees America broken on the ground and smiles a blood stained smile at Hortega.

Scottywood:..I alway knew you were Best All-

Hortega kicks Scottywood square in the groin causing him to fall over, smashing into the ground. Once again the mexican security team cheers Hortega once again. Hortega steps over Scottywood and tears his referee shirt off tossing it to one of the random non-mexican security workers before he leaves with the gang of Mexicans. The security member looks confused with the referee shirt in his hand before he slips in on confused.

Joe Hoffman:.. I think Hortega just quit the match.

Benny Newell: What the hell!? Scottywood! Crawl over America! Get the pinfall!

Both men struggle to get to their feet as the new referee checks both men to make sure the match can continue. Scottywood recovers quickest and manages to get to his feet. America is still on the ground after Hortega struck him. Scottywood moves toward the front of the chapel and grabs something from behind the alter. He heaves up a cross and drags it over to the center of the chapel, tossing it onto the ground with a clatter.

Still unable to see clearly with his face bleeding out, Scottywood moves toward America rubbing the blood from his face. He grabs Christopher’s am and drags him toward the cross.

Joe Hoffman:..oh no.. no. Is Scottywood going to Crusify America like he crucified Ken Davison!?

Scottywood shoves America onto the cross and stands over him, wiping the blood out of his face once again. He slumps back against a pew and pulls a two large nails out of his pocket breathing heavily. He kicks America square in the gut a few times before he moves back toward the Alter at the front of the chapel. He grabs a hammer sitting there and slowly stalks toward America who starts to stir slightly. Scottywood falls down to his knees and jams one of the nails into America’s hand!

Benny Newell: That’s it boy! DO IT!

Joe Hoffman: This is sick! Scottywood is going to nail America to a cross!

America screams and seems to snap out of it after the nail is forced into his hand. As Scotty raises the hammer and swings it down, America intercepted, blocking the hit. Desperate, America takes a moment to jab Scottywood in the eyes causing him to fall back, once again clutching his face. America looks down at his hand which now as a large nail sticking out of it, blood pouring out of it. He slowly stood up, yanking the nail out of his hand with another roar of pain before he looked up at Scottywood who was still blinding.

Christopher reaches forward with his uninjured hand and picks up the hammer laying on the floor that Scottywood dropped. He slowly pulled himself and and lifted it above his head..

CRACK!

Scottywood was struck across the face with the hammer dropping him in a heap as America drops ontop of him, rolling his leg up in the process. The intern ref drops down next to them..

Uno…

dos..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tres!!!

WINNER OF THE MATCH IN 22:21 AND NEW LSD CHAMPION….CHRISTOPHER AMERICA!!!

Arrivial

The HOV suddenly goes black as the crowd gives a mixed reaction to the outcome of the opening bout.

Joe Hoffman:

Well I think it’s obvious that Lee Best just shut down the feed not allowing us to see America celebrating with his newly won LSD Championship.

Big Buff:

Shut the fuck up Joe. The match was over and who gives a fuck to see that non American piece of steroid abusing ass holding up the title that rightfully belongs to the Best Alliance.

Joe Hoffman:

Say what you want Benny but what a way to start the PPV with America winning at the Alamo!!

Before Newell can retort the HOV comes alive again and the footage shows the action picking up backstage.

Opaque shadows stretch across the floor and up the wall, obscuring everything from view. Cloaked within it, Shane Reynolds waits, and watches with blazing eyes, growing more and more impatient by the second. The silence broken as he begins tapping his foot loudly on the concrete, the sound rolling out through the parking lot, echoing back off the walls.

Minutes pass before the tapping is suddenly drowned out by a low yet distinctive rumble, heard first in the background, it grows progressive closer as something massive approaches… Shane’s eyes dart in all directions, trying to find the source….when suddenly from around the corner a massive Panzer tank circa 1949 roars forward toward Shane. A light blazes from it, fixed on the exact location Shane is standing, revealing him in all his glory – wearing blue and black chequered pants with white shoes and a knitted yellow and black diamond-patterned sweater. Instinctively, he backs against the wall as it rolls over Lee Best’s Limo which is shattered and crushed below its massive frame. The beast of a tank rolls to a stop in front of Shane as the large cannon on the front of it swivels down to aim at Shane.

The hatch pops open as Max appears wearing a slick back helmet and a black suit.

Max Kael: Hello Shane!

Shane’s eyes remain wide open as he stares directly into the barrel of the cannon and then up at Max. The narrowly avoided prospect of dying hits him hard, but not as much as the potential of dying in the current outfit.

Shane: What do you think you’re doing? You could have killed me!

Max Kael: I know! Hans refused to keep driving forward, though.

He frowned and shrugged before he hopped out of the top of the tank, sliding off onto the ground. He stood up and dusted himself off, removing his helmet. He walked forward and smirked at Shane eyeing him.

Max Kael: Looking sharp!

Shane glares furiously at this as he steps slightly away from the wall now, and before he can get control of it and with no regard for potential consequences, his hand shoots out and slaps the helmet from Max’s hand. It clatters loudly to the floor and rolls away slightly. Both men stand directly opposite each other, Shane’s hand clenching and unclenching as he tries to hold back further actions.

Shane: Don’t. Just don’t. If you like it, though, take a photograph, because it’s the last time you’re ever going to see me in something like this!

Ignoring Shane, Max looks over as the helmet completes its journey across the ground. He looks back toward Shane slowly tut-tuting. A thin finger lifts and points toward the helmet.

Max Kael: Pick it up, monkey.

For a long moment, Shane does nothing. His eyes furious, his hand clenching again. Then, he sighs loudly, leans down and picks it up. Another sigh and he holds it back out towards Max.

Shane: ….Let’s just get this over with.

Max smiles and takes the helmet from him, tucking it under his shoulder.

Max Kael: That’s a good boy Shane. You see? It’s not all that hard. How do you like the tank? I got it on Craig’s List! The great thing about an economic downturn is everyone is eager to sell everything! Now.. do you have the mask?

Shane shakes his head ever so imperceptibly at Max’s statement as he glances at the tank, wondering for a brief second whether that’s the place to get something that could take Max’s head off.

Shane: I’ve got it.

Shane eventually answers, his tone resigned, as he remembers the bag resting beside his foot. He kicks it slightly, indicating to Max where it is.

Max Kael: Good.. let’s go. We need to discuss just exactly how things are going to go, tonight.

He turns and walks away motioning for Shane to follow.

Shane: You really don’t expect me to wear this, do you?

The moment the question leaves Shane’s mouth, he regrets it, suspecting he knows the answer coming.

Max moves away laughing manically at his question, while Shane, a few moments later, sighs again, scoops up the bag and follows after him as the HOV goes to black ….

Max Kael – 0% v Aceldama – 0%

The action cuts back live to the announcers  for the first live match of the night. Joe and Benny are still buzzing from the gruesome display during the LSD title match at the Alamo.

Joe Hoffman: What a great match we just witnessed to see Christopher America become the new LSD champion!

Big Buff:: What a load of shit! This wasn’t supposed to happen, America is supposed to lose at the Alamo! Scotty got screwed.

Joe Hoffman: Not the best start for the Best Alliance. But up next we have a former Best Alliance member in Max Kael taking on the new monster of HOW, Aceldama. This match was created by Lee Best in an attempt to destroy the co owner of HOW and to prevent him from making it to War Games.

Big Buff:: Well you and I both know first hand that Aceldama is one scary man. I have no doubt that, that piece of shit who’s trying to bring down our God’s company will be tore from limb from limb.

Joe Hoffman: Well folks we just seen our first of many brutal matches for the evening and this match wont be any different as the stipulations read last man standing, meaning that you have to keep your opponent down without interference for  a full ten count.

There is a loud siren noise echoing throughout the arena as searchlights move across the arena. On the giant screen a flashing ((–A–)) symbol appears. As soon as the siren ends and the searchlights stop a voice is heard which utters ‘Time for the sickness’ as ‘Indestructible’ by Disturbed comes onto the PR system as Aceldama is found by the returning searchlights somewhere in the arena within the crowd, he quickly moves through them to the ringside area, he slips under the bottom rope and raises his arms above his head as flaming pyros go off on each ring post. Finally in preparation he goes into a corner, sits down and cowers in a corner, talking slowly to himself.

Big Buff:: This guys demented! Perfect! Another great booking by Lee Best!

 

 

Suddenly a voice comes over the PA system. “..WE DO AWAY WITH YOUR KIND..”

“Count down to exterminate the human race.

4, 3, 2, 1..”

*”Puritania” by Dimmu Borgir roar’s over the speaker system as the house lights cut out as the stage comes alive with red and green flashing lights. The flashing lights seem to focus to the beat of the music before the whole stage goes dark with a single, powerful white light appears in the center of the stage making it difficult to see the entrance. Max steps out in front of the white light wearing his minister wrestling gear. Behind him follows Shane Reynolds wearing golfing colors and what looks to be a Max Kael mask,  wheeling out a golf caddy full of Max’s weapons. He looks resentful of Max as he follows behind him down to the ring. He avoids making contact with the crowd who seem to be cheering him, whilst others continue to boo him.

Joe Hoffman: Max seems to be getting some support from our fans here in the Best arena. I’m not sure how much Shane will appreciate having to wear golf attire and a Max Kael mask.

Big Buff:: Shane should just kick his ass and join the BA!

Max waits outside the ring whilst his music dies down. Whilst he talks to Shane on the outside of the ring, Aceldama is up from the corner and walking into the middle of the ring. He finally gets sick of waiting as he runs and baseball slide’s his foot between the shoulder blades of Max, causing him to land on his front.

Joe Hoffman: Aceldama not wasting any time here.

DING DING!!!

The bell rings but the action starts on the outside as Aceldama begins to lay into Max with stiff right hands on the floor. Shane, stands and watches by the golf caddy, not interfering. Max covers his face as Aceldama continues to wail on him. Aceldama gets to his feet and drags Max up, tossing him like a piece of meet into the steel barricade on the entrance ramp. The crowd feels Max’s pain as his flesh meets the steel. Aceldama walks over to Max slowly who is on his knees. Max gives him a sharp jab to the gut and runs over to Shane trying to hide behind him. Shane is confused and can be heard saying “What the fuck are you doing?”

Big Buff:: Typical of Max, looking for others to fight his battles for him!

Aceldama walks slowly towards Shane and Max and tosses Shane to the side. He then grabs Max by the head and looks to crash it into the steel ring post. But Shane out of nowhere hits him with a dropkick to the back causing him to go face first into the post. Shane then looks at Max and takes off his mask  as he turns and begins to make his way back up the ramp. Max calls after him but Shane continues to ignore as he disappears backstage.

Joe Hoffman: Shane’s had enough, he’s leaving Max to fend for himself! Max does not look happy!

Big Buff:: Brilliant, now I can sit back with my drink and watch this angry German tear him limb from limb!

Max panics as he sees Aceldama already shaking off the cobwebs. He crabs a steel chair which is attached to the side of the caddy and smashes it into the spine of Aceldama. Aceldama doesn’t seem to respond in much pain causing Max to panic even more. He lifts the chair up again and swings it hard into the back of his head. Aceldama holds the back of his head this time, but again straightens up, absorbing the pain. He turns around slowly, but Max nails him square in the face, this time sending him to the floor.

Big Buff:: That’s five grand right there.

Joe Hoffman: It took three vicious chair shot’s to take him down. I should probably mention at this point that for every weapon Aceldama uses Max will fine him one thousand dollars.

Big Buff:: Yes but Lee being a genius has countered this threat by saying he will fine Max five grand for every weapon HE uses!

Max gives a toothy grin as he continues to rapidly hit the downed monster. He then stops and shouts at Matt Boetcher to count. The ref gives a 1, but Aceldama is already turning on his side to get up much to the disbelief of Max.

Big Buff:: It will take more than that to keep the monster down. A LOT..more.

Max throws the chair to the floor, and pulls out a crowbar. He waits for Aceldama to get up and swings the crowbar. But Aceldama ducks and takes Max down with a powerful clothesline. Aceldama continues the offensive as he drags Max up and whips him head first straight into the steel steps. The punishment continues as he again picks him up and rolls him into the ring, sliding in after him.

Joe Hoffman: Max still looks a little hazy here.

Aceldama picks max up and whips him into the corner. He then chases him and drives a shoulder into his midsection, almost cutting him in half. Max stumbles forward and Aceldama takes him down with a big boot between the eyes. Aceldama goes outside the ring and grabs one of the TLC tables, setting it up next to the apron. As he checks to make sure the table is set up properly Max is slowly getting to his feet. Aceldama slides back into the ring and grabs Max by the hair whilst he’s on his knees. Max uses his wits wit’s and hits Aceldama square between the legs with a low blow. The male members of the crowd shout noises of pain as Aceldama falls to his knees holding his crotch. Max reaches into his pocket and puts on a pair of brass knuckle dusters. He then hits Aceldama in the jaw causing him to fall on his back. Max gets on top of Aceldama, and vicious begins slamming the knuckle dusters rapidly into the skull of Aceldama, splitting his head open.

Joe Hoffman: We’ve got blood in this match already! This is brutal!

Big Buff:: Come on you German piece of shit, do something!

Max finally gives up his assault with the knuckle dusters and rolls back out of the ring once again. Boettcher decides not to count as he notices movement from Aceldama. Max pulls out a sawn off shotgun which gets a huge response from the crowd.

Joe Hoffman: What the Hell? Max has brought a shotgun to the arena, he’s going to kill Aceldama!!

Big Buff:: SOMEONE GET SECURITY!!

Max rolls into the ring and looks around at the fans with a toothy grin, as he waits for Aceldama to get to his feet. As he does he Max checks the chamber and clinks the barrel back into place. Max braces himself for the power of the gun as the crowd are on their feet in anticipation. He holds the gun low, angling it up at Aceldama’s chest. Aceldama is swaying on his feet but quickly drops to the floor as Mac fires the shotgun. The shotgun recoils back into Max’s crotch causing him to roll around on the mat as the fans laugh.

Joe Hoffman: Thank God! Someone could have really gotten hurt there.

Big Buff:: Someone did get hurt, Max wont be able to have kids after that! God Max’s kids…imagine what they would look like!

Boetcher picks up the shotgun and gives it to the time keeper and passes it to the timekeeper who takes it back to his seat to keep safe. Aceldama, wipes some blood from his face as he picks Max up off the mat and hits him with a stiff hand. He then lifts Max onto his shoulder and runs towards the ropes, throwing him to the outside straight through the table!

Joe Hoffman: This could be over right here. Max just went right through the woodwork!

Boetcher begins to count

1

 

2

 

Aceldaman rolls out of the ring and picks Max up out of the wreckage, forcing Boetcher to stop the count.

Joe Hoffman: Aceldama might have won the match but obviously has other ideas.

Big Buff:: Oh he’s going to cripple Max!

Aceldama grabs hold of some extension cord and wraps it around the throat of Max. He turns around and pulls on the cord, causing Max to lift off his feet, choking on the extension cord. Max dangles there, his face turning blue. Max desperate begins to kick his feet back, sending sharp kicks into the calf muscles of Aceldama. He lets Max down, but grabs instantly begins smashing his forearms into Max’s face. Aceldama then notices the ring bell and picks it up. He waits for Max to unravel the cord from his neck and turn around. As he does Aceldama greets him by smashing the bell into his head creating a loud *DING!* Aceldama picks Max up again and whips him head first into the metal ring post.

Joe Hoffman: Aceldama is relentless!!

Big Buff:: I think Max is busted open as well!

Max is on the floor and blood is dripping from his forehead. Before Matt has a chance to count, Aceldama begins laying down stiff stomps to his spine. He then picks Max up and gets him in a headlock, as he walks him around the ring towards the entrance ramp. He then walks up the steel steps and plants Max’s head between his legs. Max breaks free though and punches him in the stomach with the knuckle dusters which he is still wearing. Max then grabs the head of Aceldama and DDT’s him hard into the steel steps creating a big THUD! This causes the gash in Aceldama’s head to open wider as blood continues to run from his head onto his body. Max falls against the barricade, wiping his own blood from his eyes. He then proceeds up the entrance ramp and heads towards the backstage, as Aceldama holds his head on the outside.

Joe Hoffman: Is Max leaving?

Big Buff:: Running scared like a little bitch.

Max suddenly re appears with a huge reaction of excitement from the crowd as he returns with what appears to be a rocket launcher.

Joe Hoffman: Oh come on! The shotgun was bad enough now he has explosives?

Big Buff:: How is this guy allowed in public?

Aceldama is now up on his feet and swaying at the bottom of the ramp. Max hoists the rocket launcher up onto his shoulder and presses a button. Nothing happens to Max inspects it and clicks anther button, nodding his head as though he is ready to go. Aceldama meanwhile is slowly staggering up the ramp towards Max. Max presses a button and a cloud of smoke rises from the rocket launcher.

Big Buff:: IT’S A DUD!!

Max panics as he frantically continues to press the button. Aceldama finds some energy and charges towards Max, but Max see’s him coming and throws the titanium rocket launches right into Aceldama’s head! Aceldama falls onto the steel ramp, again holding his head, as Max breathes a sigh of relief.

Joe Hoffman: Well I suppose you can use a rocket launcher for that, seemed to work..

Max pulls Aceldama up and begins to hit him with hard right hands, he seems to have lost his knuckle dusters, as his hand is bare. He then pulls him up the ramp by his hair, blood pouring onto the steel from both wrestlers. Aceldama elbows Max in the ribs and grabs his head. He butts Max hard with his head and blood flies from both wrestlers. Aceldama seems less hurt by this as he drags Max to towards entrance. He smashes Max’s head into the steel of the entrance and carries him backstage with Boettcher following.

Joe Hoffman: Look’s like we’re heading into the backstage portion of the arena.

Aceldama see’s a glass window of a room and instantly tosses Max right through it.

Joe Hoffman: Oh my God!! Max might be in pieces after that!

Big Buff:: Simply beautiful!

Aceldama climbs through the gap in the window and see’s Max covered in small cuts and contusions. He picks him up and throws him through the open gap, following him back out. Max can be heard wincing in pain as he kneels on all fours. Aceldama takes a run up and delivers a stiff boot to the midsection of Kael, almost lifting him of the floor. He brings Max to his feet, but Max grabs his face raking the eyes of Aceldama. Whilst Aceldama tries to clear his vision, Max picks up a piece of stray wood and breaks it across his head. Max then turns around and smiles as he sees his “RoadMaxster 8000” and walks towards the golf buggy. He climbs in and turns a key, revving up the battery powered engine. Aceldama is on his feet and doesn’t move as Max speeds towards him, sending him flying over the top of the buggy, landing in a heap.

Joe Hoffman: He just ran him over with the golf buggy, he might have broke his legs!!

Big Buff:: Looks like he isn’t finished either.

Max is revving the engine again as he goes to reverse the golf buggy towards Aceldama’s head, but Aceldama rolls out of the way just in time, but stays on the floor, still in pain.

Joe Hoffman: That was close!!

Max drags Aceldama to his feet but Aceldama throws Max’s hands away and kicks him in the midsection. He then hoists Max up onto his shoulders in a powerbomb position and turns around. He then slams him down onto a stack of wooden crates with a jackknife powerbomb, the wood breaking and cracking beneath Max’s body. Aceldama falls back onto his ass and breathes heavily, stroking his blood matted hair out of his face. He then watches as Boettcher starts to count Max out.

1

 

2

 

3

 

4

 

Joe Hoffman: This could be it!

5

 

6

Max begins to twitch.

7

 

8

 

Max rolls off the crates and lands on his hands and knee’s causing Boettcher to stop the count. Aceldama jumps to his feet and goes back to the attack with an elbow drops across the spine of Max, causing him to flatten out onto his stomach!

Joe Hoffman: I thought the monster Aceldama had it there. Max obviously has a little bit left in the tank. What a brutal match!

He picks Max up and hits him with a hard right hand which him to land against the RoadMaxter. Aceldama lifts him up and places him on top of the buggy. He then climbs in and revs it. He drives straight down the corridor and crashes it straight into a concrete wall, causing Max to catapult head first into the concrete. There’s a spot of Max’s blood on the wall, as Aceldama scrambles out of the buggy and pulls Max off. He throws him against the concrete wall and goes to throw a straight punch, but Max ducks causing him to slam his own hand into the concrete.

Big Buff:: Felt that one.

Joe Hoffman: Aceldama may have just broke his hand.

Max is crawling away on all fours, his face crimson with blood. Aceldama shakes off his hand picks Max up to his feet. Max turns around and nails Aceldama with a right and grabs his head, thrusting it into a plastered wall, which dents from the force of his head.  Max quickly jumps back into the buggy and reverses it. The front portion is completely dented as he turns it around. He goes to speed away down the corridor but Aceldama quickly dives into the passenger seat and grabs the wheel. As they continue down the corridor in a zig zag pattern, they exchange elbows and punches.

Joe Hoffman: This is crazy!

We cut back to inside the arena where the golf buggy speeds towards the edge of the stage. At the last second Max jumps out leaving Aceldama to plummet twenty feet down into the concrete floor. He flops out of the side of the buggy, the crowd chanting HOW’s name from what they just saw.

Joe Hoffman: THAT’S IT…IT HAS TO BE OVER NOW???

Whilst Newell is drinking heavily from his bottle of Jack, Max watches as Boettcher counts Aceldama out from the top of the stage.

1

 

2

 

3

 

4

 

5

Max gives a toothy grin as blood pours down his face.

6

 

7

Aceldama rolls onto his side.

Joe Hoffman: HE’S MOVING?

Big Buff:: GET UP!!! GETP UP!!

8

Aceldama is now on his feet and the crowd along with Max look at him with disbelief.

Joe Hoffman: THIS IS AMAZING!!! THERE IS NO STOPPING THIS MAN.

Max growls and picks up the rocket launcher that was lying at the top of the ramp. He then takes a run up and flies off the stage crashing the launcher into the head of Aceldama!

Fans: HOLY SHIT!!!…HOLY SHIT!!

Joe Hoffman: MY GOD!!! MAX JUST TOOK A SUICIDE DIVE OFF THE STAGE!!

Big Buff:: I HOPE HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF!!

Both men are lying motionless on the concrete floor as Boettcher begins to count both men out.

1

 

2

 

3

Joe Hoffman: ARE WE ABOUT TO SEE ANOTHER RARE DRAW??

5

6

Max is moving slightly and trying to use the barricade next to the fans for leverage.

7

The fans reach over the barricade and grab hold of Max, trying to heave him to his feet.

Big Buff:: What the fuck?? They cant do that!!

8

The fans are holding Max up on his feet leaving only Aceldama on the floor.

9

 

10!!!!

Boettcher calls for the bell!!

DING DING DING!!!!

WINNER OF THE MATCH IN 20:19 MAXIMILLIAN KAEL!!

Joe Hoffman: MAX HAS DONE IT!!! HE’S THE LAST MAN STANDING!!

Big Buff:: NO!! THE FANS HELPED HIM!!! IT DOESN’T COUNT!!!

Joe Hoffman: The result stands, the bell has sung!!

The fans let go of Max as he falls forward, both men bleeding heavily and lying motionless on the concrete floor.

Big Buff:: He’s going to owe Lee a shit load of money.

Joe Hoffman: Love them or hate them folks you have to give it to both these stars for their refusal to say die. Both men just put their bodies on the line and will be feeling the effects of this match for a long time!!

America Dry?

The March to Glory feed cuts away to a commercial featuring the only official sponsor of HOW…

Canada Dry.

Christopher: Hi, I’m Christopher America, here to tell you about Canada Dry. Canada Dry is the leading maker of Ginger Ale… in America.

Wait a minute! Really? We allow this crap in America?

Director: CUT!

Christopher: Hi, I’m Christopher America, here to tell you about Canada Dry. Right now, you can go to Canada Dry’s website and read all about Canada Dry’s six new seasonal recipes!

While you are there, you can also check out information on their newest flavor: Green Tea Ginger Ale.

What’s the matter: shit and piss didn’t work as a good combination?

Director: CUT!

Christopher: Hi, I’m Christopher America, here to tell you about Canada Dry. The bubbles? Better. The experience? Effervescent. The taste? Just north of everyday.

I’m Christopher America – endorsing Canada Dry since I was threatened with a fine. 

Director: CUT! We’ll edit it out.

The commercial quickly ends as the action returns to ringside where Joe and Benny are getting set up for the in ring return of Jatt Starr as he takes on Ryan Faze next!!!

“Phenomenal” Ryan Faze – 0% v Jatt Starr – 0%

Joe Hoffman: A heck of a night we have had so far, but now its time for the match that many have been waiting for, Ryan Faze versus Jatt Starr, Jatt Starr’s first match in 3 years I believe.

Big Buff: No doubt in anyone’s mind that Jatt Starr is going to win this match. Ryan Faze is a fucking idiot. The face of HOW? Don’t you have to win to be face of anything?

Joe Hoffman: But Ryan Faze does have three victories over the World Champion, a huge win over Static and he looks to add yet another huge win over HOW Hall of Famer Jatt Starr.

Suddenly, Ryan Faze’s music hits the arena sound system, the fans explode as Ryan Faze makes his way out!

 

‘FAZE FAZE FAZE FAZE’

Joe Hoffman: Not too many men in HOW history can brag about getting a reception like this!

Ryan walks down the ramp and slides into the ring, then climbs a turnbuckle and raises his arms into the air. Suddenly Jatt Starr’s music hits and he comes out, and the fans start giving Jatt Starr hell. Jatt Starr smiles and pats the UAD title around his waist.

‘JATT STARR SUCKS! JATT STARR SUCKS!!’

Jatt walks down to the ring, ignoring the fans, staring right at Ryan Faze.

Joe Hoffman: I don’t think there has seriously been a moment that the fans have cheered for this man.

Big Buff: That’s because the fans are stupid! They don’t recognize greatness!

Starr walks up the ramp and stands on the apron, glaring at Faze. He then steps into the ring, Matt Boettcher stands in between the men, taking the UAD title from Starr as introductions are made by Amy Smeets.

Amy Smeets: THE FOLLOWING NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!! INTRODUCING FIRST, HAILING FROM CHICAGO, ILLINOIS BY WAY OF CLEVELAND, OHIO, WEIGHING IN AT 213 POUNDS…….THE PHENOMENAL ONE….RYAAAAAAAAAAAN FAZE!!!!!

The fans explode for Ryan who looks entirely focused on Jatt Starr who is returning the glare.

Amy Smeets: INTRODUCING NEXT, HAILING FROM ATLANTA, GEORGIA, WEIGHING IN AT 232 POUNDS……HE IS HOW HALL OF FAMER, THE KING OF GRAPPLE FROM THE BIG APPLE….

Suddenly Starr walks over to Amy and whispers something in her ear. Amy looks at him quizzically and Jatt nods.

Amy Smeets: …….THE KING OF GRAPPLE FROM THE BIG APPLE, THE SULTAN OF SEA-JATTLE, THE RULER OF JATT-LANTIS AND THE MAN WHO IS WITHOUT DISPUTE BETTER THAN DARKWING………JATT…..STAAAAAAAAARR!!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fans start booing Jatt Starr, deafening the arena as Starr smiles and waves at the crowd sarcastically. Ryan Faze shakes his head as a weak Darkwing chant is heard, then it is overcome by a ‘FAZE OF HOW’ chant.

Joe Hoffman; This crowd is decidedly against Jatt Starr here tonight.

Big Buff: They are idiots! Jatt Starr doesn’t care about these people! He will win this match or Ill quit drinking!

Joe Hoffman: Really now? I hope Ryan Faze wins more than ever now!

Matt Boettcher calls for the bell, and the two men start circling each other.

DING DING DING

Starr and Faze start sizing each other up, then the two lock up. Faze quickly gets the better of Starr with a side headlock. Starr pulls Faze by the tights towards the ropes and tries to shoot Ryan off, but Faze drags Starr with him, refusing to let go of the headlock.

Joe Hoffman: Ryan faze off to a good start here. Trying to wear down Jatt Starr.

Big Buff: I’m serious Joe. You think I’m fucking around, but I’m not. I will fucking STOP DRINKING if Jatt Starr loses to that numnut Faze.

Joe Hoffman: Benny we have millions of witnesses via TV hearing this.

Big Buff: fuck them! I’m not playing!

Joe Hoffman: okay then. Go Faze!

Starr tries to turn the headlock into a hammer lock of his own, but Faze clamps the headlock back down then executes a headlock takedown. Starr tries to kick out of the headlock but Faze has it on tight and Starr inches himself toward the ropes and gets a foot on them, forcing Faze to break the hold.

Boettcher calls for a break Ryan gets up and starts taunting Starr.

Joe Hoffman: Ryan Faze looking to wear down the rusty Jatt Starr.

Big Buff: ha! It won’t work!

Both men are again circling each other, then they lock up again. Starr then locks in a side headlock, but Faze almost instantly turns it into a hammer lock. Both men exchange reversals into hammerlocks until Faze gets the upper hand and applies a side headlock followed by another headlock takedown which AGAIN forces Starr to get to the ropes. Boettcher calls for the break and both men stand up, Starr visibly angry by being technically bested by Faze.

Joe Hoffman: I wonder when and where the Best Alliance will show up.

Big Buff: Stupid ass,. Starr doesn’t need the rest of the Alliance. Lee Best told me himself that Starr requested no Best Alliance interference.

Joe Hoffman: Interesting….Starr has said that before and the Alliance has still came to ringside, so I don’t believe it.

Faze and Starr stand in the middle of the ring, and Faze and Starr go to lock up, but Starr fakes it, and kicks Faze in the gut, doubling him over. Starr hits an elbow to the back of the head, then hits a forearm shot to the side of the head of Faze, which causes Faze to stand up, dazed a bit. Starr hits another kick to the gut, then applies a side headlock, talking trash as the fans boo him. Faze shoves Starr into the ropes suddenly, Starr runs back and takes Faze down with a shoulder block. Faze is lying on the mat staring up at Starr. Starr runs to the ropes and Faze is up in a flash, executes a leapfrog, Starr shoots back and Faze tries a hip toss, but Starr blocks it, and pokes Faze right in the eye. Faze is blinded, holding his eye in pain, as Starr locks in a side headlock followed by a headlock takedown.

Joe Hoffman: One thing that ISNT rusty from Jatt Starr….his ability to cheat.

Starr is quickly surprised by the length and dexterity of Ryan Faze as Faze locks a head scissors in and Starr breaks free and both men are to their feet as Starr is visibly frustrated.

Starr loses it, and charges at Faze, but Faze executes a drop toe hold, and Starr crashes face first. Faze drops an elbow across the back, then  hits a standing splash!!! He covers Starr……

ONE!!! TW-NO!!!!

Joe: Barely a two count, Faze using quickness here.

Faze locks in a side headlock again, but Starr powers to his feet, pulls Faze to the ropes and shoots Faze off, Faze comes back and hits Starr with a shoulder block, knocking Starr down. Faze runs to the ropes Starr lays on his stomach and gets up as Faze comes back. Starr goes for a belly to belly, but Faze blocks it, breaks the hold Starr has on him, kicks him in the gut, runs to the ropes and comes back and hits a sunset flip, and pins Starr!!!

 

ONE!!!! TWO!!!!

 

Starr suddenly rolls out of it and tries to apply the JATTACLYSM!!!!!!

Joe: If Faze gets locked in the Jattaclysm, this match could be over before it gets going!

Faze uses his leg strength and kicks Starr into a corner, gets to his feet and charges, but Starr uses a back body drop, but Faze holds on to the ropes and lands on the apron. Starr is smiling, thinking he dumped Faze, but then turns, and sees Faze there, he steps forward to attack, but Faze hits a shoulder to the gut, then steps through the ropes, but as Faze gets one leg through the ropes, Starr kicks the middle rope, causing it to hit Faze in the groin, stopping Faze, whose face is etched in pain….Starr grabs the head of Faze and nails a swinging neck breaker to Faze, causing him to have both legs leaning against the ropes. Starr pulls him away from the ropes and covers……

 

1……..

 

2……

KICKOUT!!!

Joe Hoffman: Starr showing flashes of his old self….which is to say not an honorable thing.

Big Buff: Oh shut up……where my damn tequila…

Starr pulls Faze to his feet, and hits a vertical suplex. Cover by Starr…..

1………..2……..KICKOUT!!!!

Jatt then grabs the right arm of Faze with his left hand, then pulls Faze forward, looking for the STARR-STRUCK short-arm clothesline, but Faze ducks it and grabs Starr by the head around the neck from behind for the INVERTED CROSS-FAZE, but Starr spins out of it quickly countering with a northern lights suplex, but Faze manages to regain balance in midair, lands on his feet quickly, and then pounds on Starr’s back, then goes for the FAZE-BUSTER but its Jatt’s turn to block the lift up attempt, and Jatt suddenly stands up, pulling Faze’s left arm, and nails Faze with the STARR-STRUCK with his left arm, falling down to the mat along with Faze for extra impact!!!!

Joe: these two are countering each other left and right!!! It seems the first one to make a fatal mistake….COVER BY JATT STARR!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! NO, Ryan Faze kicks out!

Jatt gets up and pulls Faze to his feet as well. He whips Faze to the ropes, but Faze shoots back and nails a flying forearm! Faze gets to his feet, leans against the ropes as Starr gets up, Faze charges, Starr goes for a clothesline, but Faze ducks it, Starr turns, Faze goes for a super kick, but Starr ducks that and hits a kick to the gut, then goes for a belly to back suplex, but Faze lands on his feet behind Starr, and applies a rear waist lock, runs Starr into the ropes, Starr bounces off, Faze uses the momentum to roll up Starr!!!!

 

ONE!!!! TWO!!!! TH-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Joe Hoffman: Faze almost got him there!!!!

Starr gets to his feet, as Faze gets to his, both men charge at each other and both nail each other with clotheslines!!!!!

Both men are down next to each other, suddenly both men drape an arm across each others chest! Boettcher has no choice but to count the double pin!

 

ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!

NO!!!!!!! BOTH MEN KICKED OUT!!!!!!

The fans are buzzing at the near Double Pin we almost witnessed.

Joe Hoffman: Almost had another draw on our hands, and I’m sure the fans would’ve felt cheated with a finish such as a draw.

Big Buff: One thing the fans wont feel cheated over……who wants 4 dollar shots!!!!!

Benny Newell starts selling shots to the fans behind him of Tequila. Hoffman shakes his head in disgust.

Faze and Starr gets to their feet at the same time, then start trading punches. Faze gets the upper hand, and whips Starr into the ropes. Starr comes back, Faze leaps into the air, and nails a nails a clothesline!!! Starr is down, Faze runs to the ropes and hits a forward flip leg drop!!!! Faze covers!!

1…….

 

2…..

 

STARR KICKED OUT!!!

Faze keeps the pressure on, pulling up Starr and again whipping him to the ropes. Starr tries to surprise Faze with a clothesline, but Faze counters with a Russian Leg Sweep!!! The fans start cheering as Faze signals by running to the ropes……

ROLLING THUNDER BY FAZE!!!!!! FAZE HOOKS THE LEG!!!!

ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THR-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faze pulls up Starr and hits a few right hands. Starr is staggered as Faze goes for an Irish whip, Starr reverses, sending Faze into the ropes, Faze leaps onto the second rope and srpingboards back at Starr and hits a cross body!!!!! Faze pulls Starr to his feet and hits a scoop slam! Faze points up top, and the fans come alive again!

Joe: Ryan Faze using a lot of high risk here, will it pay off here again!?

Faze climbs up top, and leaps off and nails a HUGE top rope elbow drop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe Hoffman: ELBOW DROP TO THE HEART OF JATT STARR CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Buff: Come on Jatt!!!! Use the force!!! Aren’t you a Jatt-I Knight!!!!

Starr is thrashing on the mat holding his chest in pain, Faze signals that this is the end, he stands stalking Starr as Starr uses the ropes to get up……Starr is looking winded, holding on to the ropes as he finally is up, he weakly backs into the Ryan Faze…..Ryan then grabs the arms looking for the FAZEPLANT, He slowly turns Starr around….Starr gets turned around, and just before Ryan can drop Starr on his head, Starr rolls up Ryan!!!

 

ONE!!!!!

STARR HAS THE TIGHTS!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Joe Hoffman: DID HE GET HIM!!!?

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RYAN FAZE KICKED OUT!!!!!!

Boettcher is signaling that Starr only got a long two count, Starr can’t believe it, He slumps into a corner. Faze is up he turns, angry now, and charges, looking for a Stinger Splash, but Starr moves out the way, but Faze adjusts, landing on the second turnbuckle, stopping himself! Starr turns around, Faze spring to the top, then nails a modified Corkscrew Senton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faze gets up and yells out to the crowd who are chanting for him, Faze pulls up Starr and goes for the FAZEPLANT, Starr counters at the last second with  low-blow before he eats the finisher! The fans boo as Jatt Starr nails Faze with a hard shin breaker on that troubled knee of Ryan Faze!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Joe: NO!!!!! Jatt Starr with a low blow, and then  you knew it was only a matter of time before he targeted the Knee of Faze!

 

Faze is rolling around on the mat in pain holding his knee, Starr is on both knees trying to catch his breath. He finally gets up as Faze manages to get to his feet, Starr nails a chop block, which causes Faze to cry out in pain and drop to the mat holding his knee again. Starr looks angry as he grabs the leg of Faze and applies a standing toe hold, wrenching the knee of Faze. He drops the leg of Faze and rolls out the ring. He looks under the apron and pulls out two steel chairs. He throws them both into the ring. Starr slides into the ring and picks up one of the chairs and circles Faze. Faze tries to inch away as Starr closes in. Starr raises the chair to smash Faze’s knee, but Faze rolls out of the ring. Starr leaps between the ropes out of the ring, Faze gets to his feet, Starr lifts the chair and Faze out of nowhere hits a step-up enziguri!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: AN ENZIGURI OUT OF NOWHERE!!!! Doesn’t look like Faze got all of it, but it was enough to by him time!

Big Buff: It’s only a matter of time now, Faze’s offense uses his legs.

Joe: Great analysis….for once.

Starr drops the chair and slumps across the guard railing. Faze manages to get to his feet, he grabs Starr by the head and throws him in the ring weakly as he manages to slide under the bottom rope. Faze is up, he pulls Starr up by the head slowly….suddenly Starr nails a shot with the inside of his forearm to the knee, which drops Faze! Starr gets up, and holds the side of his head in pain. He then pulls the bad leg of Faze and pulls him to the middle of the ring, then tries to apply a figure-four,  but Faze counters with cradle!!

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!

NO!!!! HE KICKED OUT!!

Starr gets to his feet and tries again for the Figure Four, but Faze kicks him away, and manages to get to one knee, Starr runs back towards him, Faze nails a right hand which staggers Starr…..Faze swings for a huge right hand, but Starr ducks, and Faze does a complete spin and Starr nails a MAN-JATT-HAN DROP Jatt Starr’s trademark Atomic Drop, Faze pops up, holding his groin in pain, Starr grabs the bad leg of Faze and executes a perfect Dragon Screw, then hurries over and quickly applies a Figure Four!!!

Joe: Figure-Four by Jatt Starr!!!! Will Ryan Faze tap!!!?

Faze is yelling in pain, he tries to reach back for the ropes, but is too far….Star has the Figure Four in tight, Faze tries to reverse the pressure, but Starr wont allow it….Faze lays flat on his back in too much pain…..Boettcher makes the count….

 

ONE!!!!!! TWO!!!!! SHOULDER UP!!!!!

 

Faze gets a shoulder up. He tries to free himself, but to no avail, Faze drops back to the mat……

 

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!

Fans: FAZE FAZE FAZE FAZE

Faze is sitting up, he begins to inch himself towards the ropes behind him, Starr is shaking his head not wanting Faze to reach the ropes….Faze reaches back….his fingertips are touching the ropes…….he gets one finger on them…….

Suddenly Jatt Starr pulls Faze an inch away from the ropes!!!! Faze starts yelling, the pain unbearable…..Faze drops back to the mat, seemingly out of it….

 

ONE!!!!!!

TWO!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ryan Faze gets his shoulder up in time, Boettcher signals to Jatt that it was only two….Faze inches closer to the ropes, then finally grabs hold!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!!

THREE!!!

FOUR!!!!

Starr finally breaks the hold. Starr is smiling as he gets up, he taunts the crowd who boo him. Faze rolls out the ring and is virtually hopping towards the announcers table…He goes over towards Amy Smeets as Starr sees this and slides out the ring and comes from behind….Starr grabs Faze by the head, suddenly Faze turns….

WHACK!!!!!!

 

Faze just took the microphone from Amy Smeets, and nails Starr in the head with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Starr backs away and Faze hobbles toward him, and nails Starr again with the mic!!!! Starr is holding his face in pain,  Faze throws Starr into the ring, Starr gets to his feet and staggers away from Faze, Faze hobbles after him, Faze tries to hit Starr again with the mic, but Starr kicks out at the knee, stopping Faze, who drops the mic, then Starr runs to the ropes, Faze turns, Starr charges back…..

Big Buff: THE STARRLITE EXPRESS!!!!

Joe: …WHAT A COUNTER!!!!

Jatt was going for the STARR-LITE EXPRESS, but Faze countered with a knee lift!!!! Faze goes to a corner while Starr is holding his face again  in pain, Faze manages to get to the top, trying to shake his leg and get blood flowing in the knee, Faze gets to the top and as Starr turns Faze tries a double Axe-handle…………..

JATT STARR COUNTERS WITH A MAN-JATT-HAN DROP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: OH MY GOD WHAT A HUGE COUNTER!!!!!

Faze is frozen after the HUGE Man-Jatt-Han Drop, Starr turns him around…..he grabs the arms from behind, turns him over….

Big Buff: YES!!!! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!!

Jatt hits the FALLING STARR!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: THE FALLING STAR!!!! JATT STARR MAY HAVE THIS ONE IN THE BAG!!!

Starr is still holding his face, he slowly rolls Faze onto his back, and hooks the far leg……

 

ONE!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Big Buff: YES!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I DONT HAVE TO QUIT DRINKING!!!!!! STARR WINS!!!

 

Joe Hoffman: PAY ATTENTION YOU BABBLING IDIOT!!!! RYAN FAZE SOMEHOW REACHED DOWN DEEP AND KICKED OUT OF THE FALLING STARR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Boettcher is signaling that Ryan Faze indeed has gotten the shoulder up before three!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fans are buzzing!!!

Starr can’t believe what just happened, a replay video is shown as Faze BARELY escaped being pinned and Boettcher made the correct call.

Jatt gets to his feet and starts looking around. he sees the other chair from earlier still in the ring, he gets up and grabs it, and walks to a corner, and wedges it in a corner. He then goes back over to Faze and pulls Faze up to his feet. Faze slumps down against the smaller Jatt Starr, apparently out of it. Starr whips Faze into the corner, but with Faze’s knee issue and the fact that he just took the FALLING STARR, Faze falls short of the steel chair wedged in the corner. Starr picks him back up and shoves him in the corner. Starr then signals that this is the end of the match. He then charges, looking for the STARR-LITE EXPRESS, but Faze suddenly falls out of the corner, and to the mat and…..

 

CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

JATT STARR STARRLITE EXPRESSES HIMSELF INTO THE WEDGED STEEL CHAIR HEAD FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: MY GOD!!!! I don’t know if Faze just couldn’t stand up anymore or did he actually have the where-with-all to sidestep that spear that I am sure would’ve ended the match, but either way Jatt Starr scrambled his own brains there!!!

The fans go ‘ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’ as Starr crumples to the mat on his back. Faze is on his stomach! Boettcher exercises his ten count…..

1……

2…..

 

3…..

 

4…..

 

5…..

 

6……

 

7…..

 

Faze is slumped against the bottom rope, Starr is still out.

8….

Faze suddenly realizes that Starr is out, and that they are both about to be counted out….

9…..

Faze dives on top of Starr forcing Boettcher to count the pinfall instead!

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Joe: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JATT STARR GOT THE SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe: how did Starr get the shoulder up!!!!?

Big Buff: WHEW……come on Jatt! I need liquor in my life!

Faze can’t believe it now that Jatt escaped being pinned. Faze picks himself up using the ropes, and yells at Jatt to get to his feet. Starr comes awake, groggy, he gets to all fours, as Faze is stalking him. Starr gets to his feet finally, wobbly, a bug bruise on his forehead from the spear into the chair…Faze gets behind him, grabs the arms and turns Jatt around looking for the FAZEPLANT…the exact same finisher as the FALLING STARR, a variation of the Kill Switch…….Starr out of nowhere breaks free!

STARR HITS THE JATTISFACTION OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Joe:: Could this be it!!!? The hook of the near leg!!!

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Buff: Jatt Starr just won the!!!!!!…..fuck.

Benny is stopped by Boettcher signaling that Faze got his foot on the ropes just in time!!!!! Starr gets to his feet, still feeling the effects of the chair from earlier. Starr grabs the dented chair and holds it up, and drops it across Faze. Starr climbs to the top……he taunts the crowd who are booing the roof off the place, and leaps off  looking for a splash….

RYAN FAZE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Starr eats canvas, he bounces off the mat and onto his back, Faze scrambles to his feet leaning against the ropes, he makes his way to the corner, stumbling on the bad leg but managing somehow someway to get to the top…he signals…..

Joe: IF THE FAZE-50 SPLASH CONNECTS THIS IS ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faze goes to leap off, but Starr rolls out of the way, Faze adjusts himself, and dives forward, rolling to one knee, thank goodness its his good one, as Starr gets to his feet, holding his gut, Faze gets up, but the bad knee slows him, Starr charges forward for the STARRLITE EXPRESS, but Faze leapfrogs the spear attempt, lands on both feet, but the bad leg buckles, Starr sails into the ropes, but stops himself, he walks back over to Faze and tries for a quick FALLING STARR, but Faze counters into the INVERTED CROSS-FAZE!!!!

Joe: INVERTED CROSS-FAZE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Starr is struggling as Faze has the modified Dragon sleeper in tight, Starr is trying to reach for the face of Faze, anything, but to no avail, as he leans back applying more pressure……Starr suddenly gets the leverage to counter with knees to the temple of Faze, two of them hit and Faze breaks the hold, backing away, Starr gets to his feet, holding his throat, Faze charges forward and nails Starr with his own SPEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Buff: HE STOLE THE STARRLITE EXPRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!

Joe: NO!!! That I think is called the PHENOMENAL EXPRESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Buff glares at Joe who smiles.

Ryan Faze covers Jatt!!!!

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JATT STARR KICKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Faze can’t believe he cannot beat Starr. Faze pulls Starr to his feet, impatient now…..he grabs Starr and slowly turns him for a FAZEPLANT…..he turns Starr over and just then the leg buckles, causing Faze to lose grip on one of the arms…..Starr uses that arm to nail a shot to the back of the knee, dropping Ryan. Starr quickly applies the JATTACLYSM!!!!!!

 

Joe: NOW IT’S THE JATTACLYSM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!!!! WILL RYAN FAZE TAP OUT!!!!?

Starr has it in tight, Faze is yelling loudly in pain, Starr is yelling at him to tap, Faze tries to inch towards the ropes,  but Starr drags him further away……….Faze yells NO!!!! at Boettcher when Matt asks him if he wants to give up….Starr looks deranged, rearing back on the hold…..suddenly Starr breaks the hold!!!!!

Big Buff: What the hell!!! My drinking is on the line here!

Starr picks up the dented chair in a corner. He pops the seat of the chair in, and smiles, then starts wailing on Faze’s knee…..each sot causes the fans to gasp, Faze is screaming now…..Starr connects with about 5 shots to the knee with the chair, then throws it aside, and applies the JATTACLYSM again……Faze quickly taps out, the pain too much!

Boettcher calls for the bell….

 

DING DING DING

WINNER OF THE MATCH VIA SUBMISSION IN 20:33……JATT STARR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jatt gets up, and stares down at Faze who is writhing in pain…..Boettcher hands Jatt the UAD title and Jatt looks down at Faze tired and worn out.

Joe: What a match that was, I know it was no DQ but did Starr really have to use the steel chair like he did?

Big Buff: Of course, Starr wanted the win and did what was needed to get it. Now I can keep drinking and selling shots……made 50 bucks in the first 5 minutes……boy its good to be the INDY Legend……

Joe: Whatever….the Best Alliance wins again…..lets take a quick break….

 

 

 

Faces arrive…

Before the entrances for the next match participants begins the HOV comes alive and we see a clearcoat charcoal colored 2009 Ford F-250 4WD pulls into the Best Arena parking lot.  After it pulls into a parking spot, a man sporting aviator shades steps out from the driver’s seat and we find it’s the “Phenomenal One” Ryan Faze!  The passenger door of the truck opens as well and out steps the ICON champion, Issac Slade!  Both men reach into the bed of the truck for their duffel bags and proceed towards the backstage entrance.

The cameras zoom in as they walk together side by side.  Faze is chomping away at his gum while Slade has his hand on his neck where a small gold cross hangs.  They are showing obvious signs of nerves for their first ever pay-per-view.

Joe Hoffman: In a matter of moments, the “Phenomenal One” will meet the returning legend Jatt Starr in a No Disqualification match and Issac Slade will be defending his ICON title in a SCAFFOLD MATCH high above the ring against his challengers Darkwing and Triple M!  You’ve got to wonder how these young superstars will cope with the pressure.

Benny Newell:  Jatt Starr is going to destroy Ryan Faze and his gimpy ass knee for good.  The fact that its a NO DQ match means the Best Alliance won’t be far behind!  And by the time Slade is done with his scaffold match it’s going to him in the corner….him in the spotlight….losing his religion!

Joe Hoffman:  Did you just quote R.E.M. in context to Slade’s match?

Benny Newell:  I sure did, his pious nature pisses me off…plus who the fuck shows up right before their damn match?!

Joe Hoffman:  Sometimes I think I like you better when you’re drunk Benny….this was obviously taped earlier tonight.

Benny Newell:  I “only” like you when I’m drunk, Joe…

As Ryan and Issac approach the door to the arena, Faze stops Slade dead in his tracks before opening the door.

Faze:  You ready man?

Slade:  I think so… you?

Faze:  Uh-uh, that ain’t gonna cut it!  When I say “are you ready,” I want to hear some confidence!  When the last time we talked you told me you weren’t sure what you were coming here for tonight?  Whether you were here for revenge or redemption?  So… what’s it gonna be?

Slade closes his eyes and thinks deeply, standing there breathing the cold air into the parking lot he still seems conflicted.

Faze:  Look at me Issac!  I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.  Jatt Starr is going to wish he never crossed paths with the “Phenomenal One.”  His legacy ends tonight.  So, I’m going to ask you one more time!  What are you here for champ?  Are you here for REVENGE?  Or are you here for your Legions of Faithful and Phenomenal Fans… and most importantly all, REDEMPTION?

Issac finally opens his eyes and when he does they’re clear, his jaw set and firm as he speaks.

Slade:  Thank you for reminding me of what’s important my friend… and more importantly, reminding me of who I am.  I’m here for REDEMPTION.

Faze:  Phenomenal!  So we both know what we’re for here for!  We know what we gotta do!  So why don’t you do the honors?

Throwing up his fist he holds it out to Issac who returns the gesture.  Issac opens the door and the “Faze of HOW” and the ICON Champion stride confidently inside as the HOV goes dark and once again we wait for the entrances for both Faze and finally Jatt Starr!!

Tradition aired last night….March to Glory Tonight…Ratings War has begun!!

Brotherly Love..

::Back live and the  cameras cut backstage where Melissa, Static’s sister, is seen feeding coins into a vending machine. David Black walks by but stops as soon as he notices Melissa. David quickly surveys the area, making sure that Static isn’t around and when he is satisfied that Static isn’t there, he cracks a smile as he quietly walks up behind Melissa. ::

David: Well well…you’ve got guts, I’ll give you that much.

:: Melissa quickly spins around. ::

Melissa: I’ll scream!

David: Whoa there! Take it easy, I come in peace.

Melissa: Yeah right!

:: Melissa takes a step back, now literally standing with her back against the vending machine. ::

David: Would you just calm down? I’m not gonna hurt you, okay?

:: David holds his hands up in front of him. ::

David: Okay then…look what happened at Turmoil, that was an accident, okay? It was a freak accident, it really wasn’t my fault.

Melissa: Bullsh..

David: WHOA! That’s hardly appropriate language for a lady, is it?

Melissa: Just go away!

David: Hey! I’m going out of my way to be a nice guy here, okay? I think the least you could do is stop acting like a little bitch for five seconds and listen to what I have to say.

:: He says, clearly getting frustrated. ::

David: I mean hell, it wasn’t even my fault what happened! I don’t know what kind of stories big brother has told you, but you know what? Your brother is full of crap! And besides, it’s not like I did any real damage anyway!

:: He points to Melissa’s face. ::

David:” I mean, sure, there’s gotta be a little pain involved, but look at the bright side! Once you are all healed up, I might actually have done you a favour by straightening that crooked nose of yours!

:: Tears start rolling down Melissa’s face; she is clearly upset and scared. ::

David: I mean, instead of attacking me and calling me names, maybe you should be THANKING me instead, huh?

:: Melissa tries to run away but David quickly grabs her. ::

David: Hey now, that’s just plain rude!

:: Melissa struggles to free herself but when she realizes she can’t, she starts screaming instead. David covers her mouth with his hand to shut her up. ::

David: Well this is just great! I go out of my way to apologize to you and THIS is the thanks I get?

:: Melissa keeps struggling to free herself and David keeps struggling to hold on to her. ::

David: Would you calm down?

:: The struggling continues when Static suddenly shows up. David, still struggling to hold on to Melissa, locks eyes with Static. Realizing how this all must look to Static, a look of what could be construed as fear appears on David’s face. Static is holding ‘Shirley’ his trusty baseball bat and aiming it slightly, pointing it at David. He looks at David and then at Melissa. Melissa’s face is white with fear and tears are beginning to swell in her eyes. Static attempts a bluff and lunges at David but continuing to hold back. ::

Static: You’ve got some balls after all it seems.

David: Shut it Static, I never wanted this to happen. I just came by to…

Static: To what David? To attack my sister again, distract me from my match against you later tonight? Why don’t you let go of my sister and we’ll settle this right now.

David: It wasn’t meant to be like this.

Static: David I really don’t care just let my sister go before I break your legs.

David: It wasn’t meant to be like this.

:: Black lunges forward toward Static knocking the baseball bat from his hands. Black grounds Static and begins to attack with a flurry of lefts and rights to Static. Static takes half a dozen punches before finally knocking Black off balance and tackling him to the ground. Static holds blacks hair for balance as he hits multiple right hands almost taking Blacks head off. Black then manages to wriggle free slightly and rakes at Statics eyes, Black hits a head butt which knocks Static back off him, Black then hits a couple of punches before finally backstage security come sprinting in and separate the two. Statics lip has been busted open as David is dragged out of the room smiling. Static turns to Melissa and shakes his head as he places the baseball bat back into his locker. ::

Static: You ok?

:: Melissa smiles faintly, acknowledging her wellness while Static wipes the blood from his lip with the back of his hand. The camera focuses on Statics eyes, which are fuming with anger as we cut back to ringside as the TLC match for the Stable Titles is next!!! ::

Bobbinette Queen B Carey© – 0% v David Black – 0% v Perfect Paul Paras – 0% v Sektor – 0% v Blaze – 0% v Static – 0% v Chris Kostoff – 0%

Back live to the announcers…

Joe Hoffman:

I cannot wait to see what happens here in our next match as the heat between Black and Static is at an all time high and you cannot deny that at all.

Benny Newell:

Typical bullshit from a non Best Alliance member as lets just get cheap heat by fucking with the family…I am getting fucking tired of this shit and I should just drink every time someone in HOW has their family members fucked with.

Joe Hoffman:

Ya but what about Graystone and his dealing with Michelle?

Benny Newell:

Can we just focus on the match please?

Joe just sighs heavily as  Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva kicks in, fans rise to there feet and turn towards the entrance. But as soon as they see Sektor and Triple P come walking out, boos rise throughout the arena, they ignore the fans and with a cocky grin head to the ring, threatening and cursing at fans down the aisle looking down at the tables, ladders and chairs all set up.

Joe Hoffman: Well its time for some TLC ladies and gents, and I don’t mean tender, love and care.

Benny Newell: Why the fuck would anyone think you mean that?

Joe Hoffman: Because.. TLC means..

Benny Newell: Means what? Tables, Ladders and Chairs?

Joe Hoffman: Yes Benny, yes.

He shakes his head as the AoA are in the ring, and watch as Undead by Hollywood Undead plays, Static, followed by Blaze, and then followed by Kostoff all walk out. The crowd continue with there mass of booing as the BA threaten and taunt them, but out of nowhere a raise of cheers erupt, the BA look confused. Out of nowhere WHACK – WHACK – WHACK, all the KOE, Carey, Black and Nitro all appear with chairs in there hand and smack each of Static, Blaze and Kostoff simultaneously.

Joe Hoffman: And were off!!

Benny Newell: DISQUALIFY THEM!!

Joe looks at Benny pathetically as the AoA rush out the ring into the aisle where the action is, Nitro heads backstage as Carey and Black lay the boots to the BA. Sektor comes flying at Carey, Paras dives at Black and the four brawl it out in the aisle, fans screaming and cheering, the BA begin getting up already. The AoA lead the KOE to the ring bounding on them, Sektor sends Carey running into the ring apron as Paras suplex’s Black to the hard cold floor, but both get attacked as the BA come running back into the scene. Kostoff immediately throws everything he has at Sektor, hard rights, hard lefts, kicks, elbows, knees, and then lifts him up with a huge body press and launches him into the crowd, the fans now going crazy.

Benny Newell: There comes a lawsuit! It’s always Kostoff!

Static and Blaze have Paras in the ring and whip him off the ropes, he returns, double back body drop high into the air and he lands hard, Kostoff helps and chucks Carey and Black into the ring. Kostoff climbs in himself but the KOE capitalize with duo spears on Static and Blaze, they turn, Kostoff runs at the two with a double clothesline but they duck, DOUBLE LOW BLOW! Kostoff drops to his knees, Carey runs off the ropes and drop-kicks Kostoff in the face, Black does the same and drop-kicks him in the face again. Sektor climbs out of the crowd and enters the ring, he grabs Black from behind and chucks him over the ropes, Carey is facing the fans when Sektor slaps her on the ass, she whips around and slaps the hell out of Sektor. Sektor looks up, he looks angry, but so does Carey, the two stare at one another, but neither making the move, the fans begin chanting and screaming ‘KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!’. Then out of nowhere Triple P and Kostoff attack Carey from behind and Static and Blaze take down Sektor.

Joe Hoffman: I wonder if they would have done it?

Benny Newell: Don’t be gross Joe, go watch 2 girls 1 cup!

Joe Hoffman: What’s that?

Benny Newell: Google it!

Triple P turns and tries to help Sektor, he pulls Blaze off and out of nowhere he drops him and locks in the MESSIANIC COMPLEX! Blaze goes crazy in pain, tapping already, Kostoff comes running over and lays the boot to get him off, Static whips Black up and power-bombs him, he rolls out the ring but Sektor is up and clothesline Static out the ring. Paras counters Kostoff and Sektor jumps in from behind, they lay the double team down hitting a double flapjack, a double suplex, and then a drop toe hold followed by an elbow drop. The AoA start talking tactics and Sektor begins climbing the turn-buckle, Paras lifts Kostoff up on his shoulders with a huge struggle and Sektor leaps off hitting the Doomsday Device, the fans clap.

Joe Hoffman: HOW going retro and bringing back some old school wrestling moves.

Carey is up and out of nowhere super-kicks Sektor in the face, he stumbles out the ring, Paras slaps her and whips her off the ropes and tries for a back body drop, but Carey amazingly reverses and flips herself high in the air. But as this happens Static bursts into the ring, big boots Paras out the way, catches Carey on the way down and power-bombs her hard to the ground. Black is up and slides a ladder into the ring, Static hasn’t noticed and as he turns around WHACK! He gets a face full of metal but doesn’t go down, Black whacks him again, and again, but Static refuses to go down. He gets fed up and places the ladder on top of his head, he spins and whacks Static, Sektor is back in the ring and Black is still spinning, whack, Sektor goes down, Paras is up, whack, he goes down, Kostoff next, Blaze is next, and even Carey. Black doesn’t notice, he removes the ladder and tries catching his balance, Static is the only person still up though and charges at Black with a big boot, Black ducks pokes him in the eyes as he turns following with a huge boot to the balls, Static definitely drops this time.

Benny Newell: As if the Best Alliance is being treated like this!?

Joe Hoffman: Seems pretty fair to me?

Benny gives Joe an evil look, inside the ring Black sets the ladder up and power-slams Static to set him up, Black walks around the ladder and begins climbing. Fans are cheering and going crazy as Black gets to the top, he leap frogs over and comes flying down onto Static with a huge leg drop. Black rallies on with the cheers from the fans and begins setting up another ladder under the title, he starts climbing and heading for the belt, but not for long. Paras and Blaze enter the ring and begin climbing up behind him, they grab him, turn him, and begin setting him up for a double suplex, but Kostoff and Carey come running behind, Kostoff shoves his head between Triple P’s legs and lifts him up, Carey does the same to Blaze. All use the momentum and lift, Black is the ultimate victim at the top, but every person goes down in a HUGE tumble crashing to the floor. A swift Sektor speeds up the previous ladder that Black set up and leaps off, he dives over to the newly set up ladder with everyone on the floor and goes for the title.

Benny Newell: STOP HIM! DON’T LET HIM GET IT!

Sektor’s hand reaches for the gold but he panics as the ladder becomes unstable, Static is up and tips it over sending Sektor crashing split legged onto the ropes and crotch first. The crowd cheer and laugh as Sektor writhes in pain, Static, slightly exhausted pushes the ladder out the way, he exits the ring and Kostoff and Carey are up, brawling one another. The camera stays with Static as he mooches under the ring, he pulls out a large black bag and climbs straight back into the ring, he looks at the fans with a smile and opens it up, tipping it onto the floor, its THUMB TACS! Carey and Kostoff stop and look, shocked, Static turns and Black enters the ring, Kostoff elbows Carey in the face, Black elbows Static in the face and Kostoff charges at Black, but Black catches Kostoff, belly-to-belly suplexing Kostoff onto the thumb tacks.

Joe Hoffman: Oh My God! Look at the pins in his back!!! There everywhere!!!

Kostoff rises and yells in pain, Static turns and Carey comes flying at him and hits the Royalty Check. The fans cheer and go wild, Black rolls back out the ring, but behind Carey, Blaze has set up the ladder and is climbing, but Carey spots him, he decides to leap off but out of nowhere Carey lands a massive super-kick to his jaw, dropping him hard and fast. Carey herself now climbs the ladder and the fans begin cheering, rallying behind her, but the real person behind her is Triple P, he climbs up and puts his head between her legs, lifting her up. Paras keeps climbing and Carey is balancing loosely on his shoulders in a panic, but as Paras gets to the top Carey leans and falls backwards and hits a reverse Royalty Check, but smacks her own head off the ladder as she does it, Paras ends up moon-saulting face first to the canvas.

Joe Hoffman: Carey doing whatever she can to keep any of these guys away from her title.

Benny Newell: Ha! Ha! But did you see her hit her head? Ha! Ha! Stupid woman!

Black is now back in, he has himself a chair, Sektor is up also and Black takes a swing for him but hits nothing as Sektor ducks, he tries again but this time Sektor exits the ring and watches instead, relaxing by an attractive woman in the crowd, chatting her up. Kostoff takes the pain and gets to his feet, angry and pissed, thumb tacks still covering his back, Black swings and smashes the chair into his head, but it does nothing, Black panics and goes to swing again but Blaze and Static slide into the ring with a bunch of chairs and double whack him in the back. They pass Kostoff a chair and all 3 BA members surround Black, they hold there chairs up and smack him, each take a turn and smack, and smack again, Black goes limp and falls to his knees, but it doesn’t stop them. Kostoff strikes the chair over his head, Static smacks him across the chest, and Blaze smacks him across the back, Black just curls over in pain.

Joe Hoffman: My god this is just brutal!

Benny Newell: It’s the best way, hit him again guys!

Carey is back up, she sees her downed partner with the BA all holding chairs above him, she gets angry and yanks a chair out of Blaze’s hands smacking him hard over the head, he drops, Kostoff and Static turn. Carey pulls guard as they surround her ready to strike, Sektor finishes with the girl after getting her number, sliding it into his pants, he runs into the ring and grabs a ladder. He looks over at Carey trying to fend off the BA and then at the title, he shrugs and starts to set up the ladder, Static and Kostoff strike, but Carey ducks and Kostoff smashes Static in the head with the chair by accident.

Benny Newell: TRAITOR!!

Kostoff looks down and damns his fist in the air after the mistake, he turns around and SMACK! Carey smashes the chair into his face, he drops, all 3 BA members now lie flat on the canvas side by side, Carey climbs up a ladder as Sektor climbs up his, opposite sides of the ring. The two are at the top of the ladder, Carey gets ready to jump off, Sektor looks down, and then looks at the title, he sees both tempting and sees Carey about to jump, she looks at him and the two shrug, both leaping off at the same time hitting a Tidal Wave on the BA. Carey lands a body splash and Sektor lands a leg drop, the fans go absolutely crazy chanting and screaming HOW! HOW! HOW!

Joe Hoffman: So much for every team for themselves.

Triple P is back up, and Black is just about up himself stumbling about, Triple P charges and hits a clothesline and lays a beat down on Black. Triple P whips Black off the ropes, he attempts a back body drop at first but Black leaps over him, but Triple P catches him a second time hip tossing him over sending him crashing into a ladder. Triple P looks down and smiles, he grabs Black and rolls him inside the ladder and locks him up entangling him inside the ladder as he locks in the MESSIANIC COMPLEX! He yells and screams in pain as Paras yanks and squeezes. Kostoff is up, he’s pissed, he grabs Paras by the neck and lifts him into the air choke-slamming him hard down on top of the ladder that Black is still inside. Kostoff rolls Paras away and tips Black out, he pulls the ladder up and sets up it up in the corner, he sets the other one up in the other corner, Kostoff then grabs himself 2 more ladder from the outside setting them up in the 2 leftover corners.

Joe Hoffman: Uh-Oh! This don’t look good!

Benny Newell: Are your crazy, this looks like something out of saw, I can’t wait!

Joe Hoffman: I meant for the rest of them!

Sektor and Carey are up, Kostoff drops them both with a double clothesline though, but picks them straight back up, sending Sektor into one ladder, Carey into another, but to his surprise Static and Blaze tap him on the back to say well done. But Kostoff doesn’t know it and back elbows the two, they stumble into each individual ladder, Kostoff turns and realizes putting his hands on his head in shock. He looks around though and sees all four opponents covering the ladder and shrugs, he charges and WHACK! Slams into Carey, WHACK! Slams into Sektor, and shrugs again and WHACK! Static, WHACK! Blaze.

Benny Newell: I KNEW IT, TRAITOR! TRAITOR!

Joe Hoffman: I.. I.. you think he done it on purpose or just for entertainment purposes?

Benny Newell: TRAITOR!

Kostoff stands strong as he flexes his muscles, fans cheering and booing with a mixed reaction, each Carey, Sektor, Static and Blaze all come stumbling out of there corners. Paras and Black slide into the ring as slow as possible and get up, all 7 athletes are now in the ring, and the chaos continues, Black jumps on Blaze and begins pounding on him, Sektor attacks Carey and takes her down with a spear. Paras though begins fiddling around and panicking as Kostoff heads for him, but Static also walks behind Kostoff to address him on the attack he made, but Paras rises and throws Chili powder at Kostoff, he ducks and it goes straight into Statics eyes. Static shrieks and yells in pain, holding his eyes as it burns, Triple P drops him with a roundhouse kick, Kostoff rises after ducking but Paras attacks him with a flurry of rights, lefts, kicks, knees and finally with a huge super-kick to his jaw. He now has Kostoff and Static lying below him and sets up a ladder, he climbs up and positions himself and dives back high into the air with a moon-sault landing on both Static and Kostoff hitting his Parasault!

Joe Hoffman: This match is so back and fourth how the hell are we ever going to get a winner?

Benny Newell: I don’t care as long as its the Best Alliance!

Joe shakes his head as inside the ring Black helps Carey by pulling Sektor off her before he can hit the C-Sektion, he hits a right, Sektor turns, Carey hits her right, and Black again, and Carey, Sektor just falls to avoid any more punches. Black begins setting up a ladder as Carey lays the boot to Sektor, Black positions two of the ladders in a see saw position and then walks over yanking Blaze to his feet. Black asks Blaze to help take out Sektor and he hesitantly agrees, Blaze begins climbing the turn-buckle as Carey and Black grab Sektor and hold him in a roasted hog-tied pig position, they hover him above the ladder and Sektor panics and tries wriggling free but Blaze leaps off.. SMASH!!! The fans react with pain as the ladder smashes hard into Sektor’s face, blood appears straight away, pouring down his face, pouring all over the ring, it doesn’t stop coming as it acts like a water fall, a close up camera zoom shows a HUGE gash on his forehead.

Joe Hoffman: Oh god, that’s brutal!

Benny Newell: Oh god, that’s beautiful!

It’s a real bad cut on his head, and Sektor leaves a trail of blood across the ring and he crawls to safety, but the blood doesn’t stop, it looks like a murder scene, medics rush out immediately and see to him, they have no result but to take him to the back as they bring out a stretcher. Inside the ring Carey and Black beat on Blaze, Static and Kostoff are up and begin arguing over the incidents that been happening, pushing and shoving one another, but Paras is up and grabs Black hitting a hard DDT on him, he picks him up and launches him over the ropes, but Black lands on a table, it doesn’t break. Paras turns to see Static and Kostoff still arguing and charges, surprising Static as he super-kicks him in the side of the head, dropping him, Kostoff smacks him in response. Triple P drops and Kostoff keeps on the attack, he lifts him up and belly to belly suplex’s him across the ring, he follows with a brain-buster suplex, he positions a ladder and even follows with a hard snapping spine-buster onto the ladder. Kostoff looks over to see Black lying on the table outside the ring, Carey distracted beating on Blaze, he smiles and sets up a ladder next to the ropes and grabs Paras again, leading him to and up the ladder. The fans begin to go crazy as they watch them climb higher, Kostoff grabs Paras and positions him, he signals for ‘NO Remorse’. Fans go crazy as Kostoff lifts him up and leaps off aiming for Black, aiming for the tables, Kostoff and Paras go crashing down with the sit down power-bomb through Black, through the table.

Joe Hoffman: HOLY HELL!

Benny Newell: Oh there dead, there like, really dead, are they moving? No? Then there dead!

After this happens and the fans go crazy screaming HOW! chants again, the HOV lights up and backstage we see Sektor going crazy in the medical office, medics having to hold him down at they apply glue to his head and a huge bandage, but he eventually overpowers them. Carey watches from ringside and gets annoyed, she leaves the ring and goes charging backstage in search for Sektor, but as she does, she doesn’t see Triple M appear on the scene. The camera follows her backstage, eventually she gets to the medical office and there stands Sektor and Mario, she attacks Mario from behind and throws him to one side, she puts Sektor on his back and then starts dragging him back to ringside as blood fills up his bandage. But Mario comes flying back into the scene, spinning Carey around and bitch slaps her with a slap that could be heard for miles, she drops to a knee, Mario smiles and suddenly spits on his hand, Carey looks up and SMACK! again another hard smack to the face with Mario’s spit, she drops to the floor dazed as Mario helps Sektor up.

Benny Newell: I heard she swallows!

Joe Hoffman: You also told me she does anal, but we all know never to believe anything you say.

Benny Newell: No, its true, I heard she admitted it on a radio show!

The HOV continues to watch as Sektor begins dragging Carey through the backstage area, beating on her, slamming her into everything they pass, Sektor spots a Golf Buggy and smiles, immediately chucking her onto it. Sektor jumps in and starts it up, fans go wild, Sektor locks Carey into a head lock and begins driving the Buggy back to ringside, cameras try to keep up but ends up going back to ringside. Blaze is now up and standing on his own in the centre of the ring, he begins acting cocky and teasing the fans, unsure what to do, but also Black, Kostoff and Paras all begin to make a move somehow. Paras climbs his way barely into the ring, but Blaze doesn’t notice, Kostoff grabs Black and begins throwing fists around into the isle and Static is now back up and walks around the ring to help Kostoff, but immediately following cheers arise from the fans as a motor can be heard, Sektor comes flying out of the entrance on the Buggy. Going more then 20 miles per hour he steams towards the ring and aims his Buggy at Black, who freezes, Carey dives and reacts quick though moving the wheel to the right, it swerves and SMASHES straight into Static and Kostoff sending them flying.

Benny Newell: HOLY SHIT! KOSTOFF AND STATIC JUST GOT RAN OVER BY A GOLF BUGGY!

Joe Hoffman: Road rage in HOW?

Sektor seems annoyed and pulls Carey out the cart beating her up to the top of the ramp, Blaze takes advantage after being so shocked at what just happened and follows. Paras also slowly takes follow but Black attacks him from behind and instead beats him up to the top of the ramp and heads back to drag himself some ladder and tables up to the top. Sektor rams Carey into the staging, head first into the steel, he throws her around, but Blaze comes running up and attacks Sektor with an elbows to the back of the head, he begins beating him towards the edge of the stage as Carey gets up but Paras immediately jumps on her. Black is still bringing up tables, a ladder is already set up on the ramp and Paras begins pulling her up they climb and he pulls her further, they get to the same height as the HOV and amazingly climb onto the edging structure of the HOV screen. The fans are cheering louder, Paras begins beating on Carey, Black hasn’t noticed yet and he’s built a barricade of tables below them, and then he spots them and begins climbing, as Blaze and Sektor continue to fight on the edge of the staging.

Joe Hoffman: This is getting dangerous, this match has gone on for a long time, hardly any attempts on the title so far.

As soon as Joe says that, Sektor lays the boot to Blaze and sets him up, the crowd go crazy as Sektor lifts him up and drops him hard with a HUGE C-SEKTION off the stage. Black is now up and Paras ignores Carey to take care of him, he begins to kick him away but Black grabs his legs, Paras kicks him off though and boots the ladder, it tips and falls and Black goes crashing down hard into some of the tables he set up. The fans continue chanting and cheering when out of nowhere Carey leaps onto Triple P and deliver her hurricanrana as she hangs onto the HOV, Triple P goes flying down and crashes through the rest of the tables. Sektor cant believe it as he watches with his hands on his head, Static and Kostoff are getting up at ringside, Kostoff like a beast tips the Buggy over and looks angry, he marches up the ramp and from behind grabs Sektor, throwing him with force down the ramp. Static meets and greets him as he lands a massive Outcast Injection on the concrete, Kostoff follows and takes Sektor with him as they enter the ring, Carey begins climbing down the HOV to make her way to the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Finally its back in the ring, what’s wrong with you Benny?

Benny Newell: I’m pissed off that it wasn’t Carey who got chucked off the stage or off the big screen..

Joe shakes his head, Carey is now at ringside, but Sektor is making a change in the ring, Static is climbing the ladder and Sektor fights off Kostoff, Carey attacks Kostoff from behind leaping on his back. Sektor picks up a chair and WHACK! Smacks it off Statics back, he refuses to quick and keeps climbing, WHACK! Again, but Static refuses to quit and keeps climbing, Sektor gets confused as WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! He beats away at Static with the chair, Sektor looks weak, as does Static, everyone in fact. With the stumbling about Kostoff stumbles into the ladder, it tips over and Static goes flying outside the ring and CRASHING through a table.

Joe Hoffman: Holy hell, Static has been a machine in this match, a force to be reckoned with.

Benny Newell: He’s in the Best Alliance, what more do you expect?

 

Fans are going crazy and Kostoff whips Carey over his back slamming her hard to the floor, Sektor kicks Kostoff in the gut and follows with a boot to the face, he runs and heads as fast as possible up the ladder. Sektor gets to the top and reaches for the title, but Kostoff and Carey grab the bottom of the ladder and pull it from under him, Sektor leaps and grabs the title hoop and hangs in mid air. Carey grabs a chair, throws it at Sektor, it hurts but he hangs on, Kostoff grabs a ladder and chucks it high at him, it hurts again but he holds on, Carey and Kostoff go to grab more but Sektor rips off the title and drops to the canvas, all three athletes drop through exhaustion as the ref raises Sektor’s hand.

WINNERS OF THE MATCH IN 31:34 AND NEW CHAMPIONS, THE ARGONAUTS OF AWESOME!!!

The action cuts to advertisement as the crew tries to clean up all the debris as Sektor helps Triple P backstage holding the Stable Titles high in the air as the crowd boos unmercifully.

 

Official sponsor of HOW Hall of Famers

Darkwing – 0% v Marvelous Mario Maurako – 0% v Issac Slade© – 0%

The HOV screen slowly zooms in on the scaffold that’s been structured high above the ring.

Joe Hoffman:  Ladies and gentlemen, to give you an idea of the risks involved in this next match, it’s comparable to Mick Foley’s infamous fall of the top of a Hell in a Cell cage.  We’re talking about 3 High Octane superstars battling it out on a long, narrow, wooden platform no wider than 5 feet…

Benny Newell: …which is suspended 20 feet high above the ring!  Haha… someone’s gonna die tonight!

Joe Hoffman:  Knock it off Benny.  Although I must re-emphasize how dangerous this match truly is.  While the ring itself is empty, tables have been stacked up on top of each other surrounding the ring to cushion the fall and the High Octane Medical Staff is on hand to tend to any serious injuries.

Benny Newell:  The two LOSERS have a one-way ticket to the hospital.  Do you see how big of a fall that is?

Joe Hoffman:  Good point, Buff.  And let’s not forget what’s at stake in this match!  What three HOW superstars will be risking their lives and careers for… the ICON title.  And here comes the FIRST-EVER ICON champion in the history of High Octane Wrestling…

“Animal I’ve Become” by 3 Days Grace hits the loudspeaker and Darkwing emerges from the back to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

WEIGHING IN TONIGHT AT 240 POUNDS… FROM INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA… DARKWING!!!

The long-time HOW fans are cheering loudly for the “Icon of Inglewood” considering his history with the company while the newer generation of fans are off-setting those cheers with a bellowing chorus of “BOOS.”  Darkwing does his signature pose at the top of the entrance ramp before he starts climbing his way up to the scaffold.  About half-way up, he poses again, playing off the crowd who is really amped up for this match.

Benny Newell:  It’s too bad he avoided his date with Besty… fucking Bobbinette had to bail his ass out.

Joe Hoffman:  And with good reason!  The image of a calf sucking off a large black man is incredibly disturbing.

Benny Newell:  You’d be one to think about that kinda stuff, wouldn’t you Joe?

Joe Hoffman:  No!  I wouldn’t…

He quickly retorts, looking the other way.  The lights go out in the arena as “Ego” by Element Eighty interrupts Darkwing’s theme.

Joe Hoffman: …ah, look!  Our next challenger…

The shadow of the former ICON champion appears in the dim light as he makes his way out from the back.

FROM MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA AND WEIGHING IN AT 260 POUNDS… TRIPLE M, MARVELOUS MARIO MAURAKO!!!

A boost of pyro explodes on both sides of the entrance ramp and lights up the arena as Triple M flexes his pecs and muscles for the crowd that is showering him with boos.  He pauses and stares up at Darkwing who is sitting on the edge of the scaffold waiting for the match to begin, then starts climbing up himself.

Joe Hoffman:  It wasn’t long ago that Triple M held the ICON championship before the co-owner of HOW, Maximilian Kael won it from him.

Benny Newell:  Yeah, for a grand total of SEVEN days.  Some ICON he is…

Joe Hoffman:  Well, putting aside his weekly abuse of women, Triple M is one of the finest talents we have here in HOW.

Benny Newell:  And don’t forget he won 2 Oscars…

Joe Hoffman:  Oh come on… he STOLE those Oscars at an after-party.  Look up the word “credible” in the dictionary and you’ll see Triple M listed as an antonym.  Hey, is it just me or does Mario seem naked with the ICON and Stable titles?

Benny Newell (shaking his head):  I can’t believe I’m sitting next to you right now.

Joe Hoffman:  WHAT?!?

Triple M reaches the top of the scaffold and Darkwing stands up from his seated position on the edge.  Mario approaches DW nose-to-nose before “Exploder” by Audioslave kicks out over the arena.  This breaks up the two as the fans rise to their feet with a roar of anticipation for the ICON champion.

WEIGHING IN AT 220 POUNDS AND HAILING FROM LOUISIANA… YOUR ICON CHAMPION… ISSAC SLADE!!!

Issac Slade pops out from the back with a burst of energy, saluting the crowd with his ICON title strapped around his waist.

Joe Hoffman:  Two and a half weeks ago on Turmoil, Issac Slade won the ICON title in a grueling ladder match against 4 other competitors.  Tonight, he’ll defend that title on the scaffold against 2 of the toughest, most determined individuals I’ve ever come across in High Octane Wrestling.

Benny Newell:  I think it’s safe to say that his undefeated streak will come to an end tonight when the X-Factor of this match, Triple M, takes back his title.

Slade raises his ICON title in the air before handing it to referee Mike Shea.  He looks up towards his nemesis Darkwing and towards Triple M, who are both provoking Slade to come join them.  Issac shakes off the nerves and begins climbing his way up to the scaffold.

Joe Hoffman:  You know you couldn’t have used a better term, Buff.  Triple M very well may be the X-Factor in this match.  You have to wonder how much Darkwing and Slade will account for him considering their rivalry and despise for each other.  Mario could use that to his advantage and capitalize.

Benny Newell:  HAHA!  Look at that!  Darkwing almost fell off the scaffold!  It’s only a matter of time before we see some broken bones, Joe.

Joe Hoffman:  Keep in mind folks that it’s going to incredibly hard, as just evidenced by Darkwing, for the wrestlers to keep their balance in this match.  If you’re expecting a technical wrestling display between these 3, think again.

Darkwing quickly regains his focus after nearly falling off the scaffold before the match even begins.  He crouches low on the platform behind Triple M as Issac Slade carefully approaches the plank.

Joe Hoffman:  Remember, the first competitor to toss BOTH of his opponents off the scaffold wins the match… and more importantly, the ICON title.  The title itself carries so much prestige with guys like Shane Reynolds and Crow paving the way as past champions.  All three of these men are looking to do the same.

*DING DING DING*

Joe Hoffman:  HERE WE GO!

At the sound of the bell, Triple M charges at Issac Slade with right hands and the two exchange punches.  The crowd is buzzing as Slade gains the early advantage on Maurako in the center of the platform.  Looking on, Darkwing disapproves of this and out of nowhere…

Crowd:  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!

Benny Newell:  TRANS-DARKWING EXPRESS!!!

Joe Hoffman:  BY GOD THE IMPACT!  We’re not even 15 seconds into the match!

Darkwing’s devastating spear into the back of Triple M and into Slade has both men down, legs and arms hanging off the scaffold as Darkwing stands over them with a thunderous roar.  Maurako clenches his back and writhes in pain as Darkwing goes to work on his rival Issac Slade.

Joe Hoffman:  These two truly hate each other, don’t they Benny?

Benny Newell:  Well they sure as hell aren’t friends.  Thanks for pointing out the obvious Joe.

Slade covers his head as Darkwing wails away on him with right and left hands.  After a flurry of punches, Triple M interrupts him by coming behind DW and locking him into his “MARVELOSITY” Full Nelson finisher.

Joe Hoffman:  Triple M may be the strongest of these three, but the only way to win the match is to toss your opponents off the scaffold.

Benny Newell:  Relax.  He’s just wearing him down you fucking idiot.

Darkwing struggles as Mario applies more and more pressure.  Slade can only smirk at DW’s misfortune as he’s recovering from his attack at the end of the platform.  Issac shakes off the rust and approaches Darkwing, kicking him in the gut several times while Triple M holds him in the submission.

Benny Newell:  Triple M and Slade are working together!

Joe Hoffman:  LOOKOUT!

Darkwing escapes the submission by kicking backwards with a low blow on Triple M, causing him to trip and fall backwards, clenching his privates.

Benny Newell:  NO!  We could have our first victim here…

As Slade continuously stomps away on Darkwing, Triple M has to clench onto one of the side bars holding up the scaffold to avoid falling.

Joe Hoffman:  He’s barely holding on!!  Look how red his face is!

Slade notices this and crawls around Darkwing over to where Triple M is struggling.

Benny Newell:  No!  NOOOOOO!!!

Slade kicks at the arm of Triple M but Mario trips him up before releasing it.

Benny Newell:  We could have two for the price of one!

Joe Hoffman:  Issac Slade has to hang on too!  Darkwing could win this without even realizing it!

Darkwing is still down from the effects of the Marvelosity and is recovering slowly but surely.  In the meantime, Slade and Triple M are hanging on for dear life.  Mario’s been able to support himself long enough with his other arm to now use both arms to pull himself back up onto the scaffold.

Benny Newell:  We’re gonna have a new champion!

Things are looking grim for Slade as the ICON champion is dangling, kicking his legs frantically in desperation.  Darkwing is finally back to his feet and Triple M is stalking as well, crawling his way over to Slade.  Triple M reaches down…

Benny Newell:  Fuck Redemption or Revenge… Slade’s gonna need a Miracle!  He better watch out…

Joe Hoffman:  What the?!?!?

Benny Newell:  HOLY SHIT!!  WHERE’S SLADE?!?!  DID HE FALL?!?

Triple M can’t believe it and looks around under the scaffold to see Slade escape his grasp by jumping down and holding onto the support bar that holds up the scaffold.  Issac hangs briefly before swinging himself over to the side of the scaffold where he crawled up to begin with.

Joe Hoffman:  A near elimination of Issac Slade!  I can’t believe the athleticism!  That’s your ICON champion right there!

Slade drapes his limbs through the steel bars and rests for a much-needed breather after that close encounter.  Triple M is livid, shouting down at him until…

Benny Newell:  Darkwing from behind!

Darkwing surprises the Marvelous One with a lift into a fireman’s carry…

Joe Hoffman:  HE’S GOING FOR THE NIGHTFALL OFF THE SCAFFOLD!

Benny Newell:  They’re gonna fall!

Before Darkwing can release Triple M to the ring below, Mario slips behind him and delivers several hard forearms to DW’s lower back.  Darkwing slouches down…

Joe Hoffman:  Triple M with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER onto the platform!

Triple M uses his boot to try and kick Darkwing off the scaffold.  Meanwhile, Slade is stalking him from behind, careful not to lose his balance.  He swings at Triple M wildly but Mario ducks.  Slade spins around due to the momentum of his swing and Triple M shoves him from behind and down to the scaffold.  The AoA member is on the attack now, kicking and stomping as Issac does everything he can to avoid falling off.  Darkwing is back to his feet.

Benny Newell:  He’s looking for another Double Trans-Darkwing Express!!

He dives at Slade and at Triple M but Slade slips under his legs and escapes the attack.  Triple M though is feeling the full impact of the pain and this is now the second high-impact spear he’s gotten in the match.

Joe Hoffman:  I dare you to question Darkwing’s status as a Hall of Famer!  He’s become an ANIMAL in this match!

With Maurako down, Darkwing turns around and sets his sights on the champion who he’s tormented for months.  Slade returns the glare and slowly rises to his feet.

Joe Hoffman:  Listen to this crowd!  This is intense!

After a Hogan-Rock like stare down with the crowd going ape-shit for both superstars, Darkwing and Issac Slade begin trading blow after blow with the crowd counting along with them.

…1

…2

…14!!

…15!!

…20!!!!!!!!

Darkwing and Slade pause in what is a brief moment of silence before both men fall backwards simultaneously on the scaffold.

Benny Newell:  All 3 men are down!

Crowd:  THIS-IS-AWE-SOME!

(CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!)

Crowd:  THIS-IS-AWE-SOME!

(CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!)

Joe Hoffman:  Which man will be the first to his feet?!?

Triple M is struggling on his knees while Issac Slade lies motionless on the scaffold.  Suddenly, Darkwing Nips-Up ala Shawn Michaels and goes right for Slade.  He’s about to push him off the scaffold when…

Benny Newell:  SUPER-MARIO!!

Triple M somehow manages to execute his Full Nelson Slam sending Darkwing down on the scaffold.  Darkwing writhes uncomfortably and is dangerously close to the edge of the platform while Triple M nearly fell off performing the move.

Joe Hoffman:  Triple M needs to capitalize here!

Slade appears to be out cold, but when Triple M crawls over to eliminate him he gets a boot to the chin for his efforts.

Benny Newell:  Slade was playing dead the whole time!

It’s now Triple M who’s out cold as Slade is energized and back on his feet.  With Triple M barely still standing…

 

——————

Crowd:  (GASPS!!!!!!!!!)

Joe Hoffman:  FAITHFUL CHIN MUSIC!!!  OH MY GOSH!!!

Benny Newell:  HOLY FUCK!  ISSAC SLADE JUST SUPER KICKED TRIPLE M OFF THE SCAFFOLD!!!

The Marvelous One comes crashing down 20 feet into the ring with a deafening THUD!  The High Octane Medical Staff quickly rush the ring to attend to Maurako as Slade looks down from above shocked at what he’s just done.

Joe Hoffman:  Triple M has been eliminated from this match!  It’s just Slade and Darkwing left for the ICON title!!

Still in awe of it all, Issac turns around and Darkwing is ready for him in a fighting stance, snarling and spitting off the scaffold.  They lock up before Darkwing turns the tide quickly by kneeing Slade square in the testicles.

Benny Newell:  He’s signaling for it again!!

Joe Hoffman:  ANOTHER TRANS-DARKWING EXPRESS!  HE’S CRAZY!  HE’LL FALL OFF TOO!

Darkwing doesn’t seem to care.  From a 3-point stance, he rushes at Slade only for Issac to give him a Drop-Toe Hold!  Darkwing slides but Slade catches his leg and holds on before he falls off the scaffold.  He looks down at Darkwing and whispers one word…

Issac Slade:  REDEMPTION!

….with that Slade lets go of Darkwing and allows him to crash down to the ring.

Joe Hoffman:   BY THE GRACE OF GOD!  ISSAC SLADE RETAINS!  ISSAC SLADE RETAINS!

“Exploder” by Velvet Revolver hits the loudspeakers but sirens from an ambulance can be heard as the medics tend to a motionless Darkwing and Triple M.

Benny Newell:  I- I’m…. speechless.

And so is the crowd.  There are some cheers for the fan favorite and ICON champion, but most of the attention is on the fallen superstars in the ring.

HERE IS YOUR WINNER IN 24:37… AND STILL ICON CHAMPION… ISSSSSAC SLAAAADE!!!!

This garners some cheers and the crowd becomes more lively as Issac Slade kneels down exhausted on the scaffold above the ring.

Joe Hoffman:  Give all the credit in the world to Darkwing and Triple M, but are they ok?  Folks this is serious… cut to video… do something!

 

All original programming airing this week!!

An ICONIC Loss?

Back live after the HOTv advertisement and the scene opens with Issac Slade sitting alone in his locker room, sitting in a chair he looks battered and bruised, bloody and beaten, after what he’s been through this evening he looks completely wrung out and spent.

A Knock draws his attention to the door, two soft raps and then the door opens, Issac opens his mouth to speak but his words freeze in his throat as Mary enters and shuts the door behind her, in her arms she holds Issac’s Riding Jacket, the one he’d given to her to keep her warm back when they’d first met, Mary looks at him and he can see tears in her eyes.

Mary: Issac I…

She stops and takes a moment to collect herself

Mary: I saw your match and…I wanted to say I…oh god Issac I’m so sorry, you were so kind to me and I used you, I kept telling myself I was working for my future, that I was doing a good thing but…all I was doing was abusing your kindness…taking advantage of you, and I’m so sorry for that

Issac wants to speak but his vocal cords seem paralyzed

Mary: I want you to know I’m not taking Darkwings or Rufus’s Gifts, I’m going to get a job and work to put myself through school like we…like we talked about, it’s the right thing to do…and I’m going to do the right thing.

 

Taking a tentative step forward Issac thought she was going to touch him, but instead she pushed the jacket into his arms

Mary: You gave this to me but I can’t take it, I don’t deserve it, I’m sorry for ruining your life Issac, I hope you’ll remember the good times we had, I will…I….Goodbye Issac!

Before he can speak she turns and flees the locker room, her voice had been dangerously close to cracking, suddenly finding his voice Issac reaches out as the door slams shut.

Slade: Mary…

He wants to get up, to chase after her, but in his exhausted state he can’t muster the energy, looking down at the jacket in his hands his eye began to fill with tears, utter a shakey sigh he raised the jacket to his face and breathed deeply.

Mary had said the jacket smelled like him, but now it smelled like her, burying his face in the jacket Issac sat there for a long moment, then his shoulders began to shake, barely subtle at first, then a muffled sob filled the locker room.

Shoulders trembling Issac sobbed into the jacket, he’d gained so much from this experience with Darkwing, but now he mourned all that he had lost.

And the realization of what he’d lost hurt him right down to his soul.

Crow – 0% v Graystone© – 0%

The action returns to the ringside as the arena goes dark and a strobe light begins flickering high above the arena floor as the crowd stands as one as the Hell In a Cell is beginning to be lowered.

Joe Hoffman:

Well folks it is time for the big daddy of them all….the World Championship match and its taking place in the first ever Hell in a Cell inferno match here in High Octane Wrestling…or in the world for that matter.

Big Buff:

Who gives a rat’s ass what it is being contested under….this is Graystone’s time to once again prove that he is unbeatable…

Joe Hoffman:

Or Crow’s time to show that he belongs in the upper echelon of High Octane Wrestling……but no matter who the winner is after this match neither man will be the same.

Big Buff:

I don’t think Gray will be the same anyway now that the whole world knows that his dick got touched by his uncle…or vice versa.

Joe Hoffman:

Well I sure as heck wasn’t going to go there but I will say that the information we learned this past week or so about Gray’s past sure has to play a part in how he performs tonight…there can be no question that he is not going to be 100%.

Big Buff:

Gray doesn’t have to be at 100% to beat 99% of the roster…c’mon….that like saying 10% alcohol wont get you drunk…cause you know it will……DRINK!

Joe Hoffman:

Um…ooook? Folks all I know is that tonight we have seen the AoA gain the LSD and Stable Championships and damn near won the ICON Championship as well. The Best Alliance NEEDS to hold onto the World Title or else they can just drop that Best moniker.

Big Buff:

Blah blah fucking blah. How about this…Ill take a drink for every minute that passes in this match, cause I am going to tell you right fucking now…Graystone is going to win this match and win it quick…

Joe Hoffman:

Bet.

Benny smiles as he pours himself a shot right away…

Joe Hoffman:

Getting ready?

Big Buff:

Well it has to last at least one minute right…….?

Joe shrugs as the fans stand as one as Come with Me by P.Diddy begins playing thru the Best Arena’s PA system as the challenger makes his way out.

Joe Hoffman:

Ok folks here comes the 6’4” 210 lb former ICON Champion who tonight will try to climb the mountain all the way to the top as he attempts to take the World Title off the waist of Graystone.

Big Buff:

If Gray’s uncle couldn’t do it you think fucking Crow could? Ooohhh I have “feelings” with birds…oooooo I am special and will have a “Bird Whisperer” show on HOTv later this week…oooooo fucking…oooooo

Benny just shakes his head as he cuts himself off with another shot as the HOV comes to life showcasing the last few weeks of attacks by Crow and Graystone on each other which ultimately led to this match being decided inside the Hell in a Cell.

As the video ends and as Crow enters the ring and Puritania by Dimmu Borgir begins to play thru the PA system.

Big Buff:

Max…why the fuck is that fucker coming out right now?

Joe Hoffman:

He is co owner of the company you know and a man that earlier on tonight defeated a most worthy opponent in Aceldama.

Before Benny can counter Joe’s statement we see none other than Shane Reynolds appear from the back wearing a referee’s shirt and a very solemn look on his face.

Joe Hoffman:

Well there you go. Max once again embarrassing Shane Reynolds as Shane is coming out to Max’s theme music even after the role he played earlier tonight in Max’s match

Shane makes his way down to the ringside as Crow stares at him intently as he shakes the steel as he watches Shane make his way towards the huge demonic structure.

Joe Hoffman:

This match could go down as either one of the most violent matches of all time or one of the most controversial as Shane will ultimately decide how this World Title match will go.

Big Buff:

DRINK!! I am going to fucking drunk by the time the entrances are done for fuck sake.

Joe refrains from responding as the crowd watches the former World and ICON Champion enter the Hell in a Cell structure and immediately slides into the ring and motions for Crow to do the same as “Hey Foxymophandlemama That’s Me” by Pearl Jam hits the PA system and the World Champion makes his way out to the entrance ramp to a very loud chorus of boos.

Joe Hoffman:

Ok folks hate him…despise him…or in some sick way like him……no matter what the champion invokes strong emotions from everyone and this match will obviously not be for the weak of heart and like we stated earlier…..is he 100% mentally….physically?

Big Buff:

Think its best to ask Thomas Gray on that one…I have never had to suck my uncles dick but if I did…I doubt I would be 100% in any capacity..

Joe Hoffman:

Um….touché?

The focus returns to the champion as he enters the cell and senior HOW referee Matt Boettcher quickly locks it behind him. Graystone turns as he hears the click of the lock being set and then slowly turns his head towards the ring where both Shane Reynolds and Crow wait for him to enter.

Big Buff:

I don’t think I have been this nervous in a long time for a match I am not in.

Joe Hoffman:

You haven’t been in a match since we squared off if I recall. Besides why are you nervous. With everything that happened to Graystone this past week EVERYONE knows that Crow is going to win…EVERYONE.

Benny doesn’t even reply cause he knows that it is true…instead he takes a drink as Graystone hands his title to Mike Shea who will be the ref inside of the Hell in a Cell outside of the ring while Shane Reynolds will try to maintain order inside the structure.

The crowd is standing as one as Shane looks at two of his most hated rivals and signals for the bell and we are officially underway…

 

Crow – 0% v Graystone© – 0%

Remember folks that to win this match all you have to do is set your opponent on fire and that is something these two know all too well as the last two weeks they have done just that to each other.

Big Buff:

This shit is different and you know it. You got the human taxi driver reffing the match and you got this big ass cage holding these guys in and keeping everyone out of the action….who fucking knows how this will go.

Joe Hoffman:

I hate to say it but I agree with you and quite frankly with the promise of Besty still out there by Lee Best I wouldn’t be surprised to see Shane Reynolds getting the treatment if he were to rule in Crow’s favor like everyone thinks he will.

Big Buff:

Trust me….Graystone loses…people are getting their pale little pricks fed to Besty and I will drink to that!

Inside the ring the three former World Champions and icons of HOW all stare each other down as you could literally cut the tension with a knife.

Finally Crow claps his hands and jumps up and down a little and begins circling Graystone as the World Champion follows suit and the crowd cheers as the action has started.

Joe Hoffman:

Ok here we go folks and just wonder how long it will be before Shane plays a physical part in this match…

Big Buff:

DRINK!!

Joe Hoffman:

You wont even be awake at the end of this match will ya?

Big Buff:

Nope…

Back inside the ring the two iconic wrestlers  lock up and Crow quickly grabs the advantage with a side headlock that Graystone quickly reverses into a hammer lock followed quickly by a headlock of his own. Crow follows with his own quick reversal by lifting Graystone up in the air and nailing him with a side suplex and Crow quickly follows it up by jumping on the champion and locking him into another headlock.

Joe Hoffman:

It is obvious that Crow’s strategy is to wear down the champ..

Big Buff:

Lets just hope that he’s not going to try and go behind the shed with him if he does put him to sleep..

Joe Hoffman:

You do realize that he is a Best Alliance member and you are riding him hard?

Big Buff:

C’mon Joe….the dude has been sucking Thomas Gray off for years and just now realized it was his uncle…of course I’m going to give him shit…its what Thomas would say…umm….Tough Love?

Joe can only shake his head as the focus returns to the action inside the ring where Graystone has fought to his feet and his driving elbows into the side of Crow and finally is able to push the challenger off him, sending Crow into the far ropes.

Crow ducks under a clothesline attempt from Graystone and as Crow bounces off the ropes he leaps towards Graystone to nail him with his own clothesline attempt but Graystone ducks the attempt and Crow nails Shane Reynolds instead and the ref is sent rolling out of the ring as we have already witnessed our first ref bump in the main event.

Joe Hoffman:

We have barely even started the match and Shane Reynolds just got creamed with a flying clothesline from the challenger. Shane is up on the outside…wait…what is he doing??

A cameraman assigned to the outside part of the ring races into position and we see Shane reaching under the ring while Crow is watching him from the center of the ring…

WHACK!!

Graystone just nailed Crow from behind with a wicked forearm and Crow falls hard down to the canvas holding his head in pain as it is now Graystone who is watching Shane as the former World Champion pulls out a bag and slides it into the ring.

Joe Hoffman:

What the heck is in that?

Inside the ring Graystone is not waiting to find out as he rushes Shane who just slid back into the ring and he greets Reynolds with a devastating knee that sends Shane flying out of the ring once again and this time its his turn to roll around holding his head in pain as all hell has already broken loose in this match.

Big Buff:

DRINK…TWICE!!!!

Graystone glances down at Shane and then down at the bag that is in the ring. The crowd stands up as one as the Champion picks up the bag and looks inside….and smiles.

Joe Hoffman:

The fact that Graystone just smiled has me uneasy..

Big Buff:

Maybe it’s a bottle of lube….imagine if his uncle didn’t use any…wouldn’t that bring a smile to your face??

Joe Hoffman:

Aren’t you supposed to drink….now?

Smiling to himself, Buff attempts to pour another shot but he completely misses the shot glass and quickly bends down and begins sucking the spilled liquor off of the announcers table.

Joe Hoffman:

You are one pathetic human being….what the heck???

Inside the ring Graystone just turned the bag upside down and instead of the customary 1,000 thumb tacks that you normally see in a match a whole bag full of matches come falling out of the bag.

As the last one hits the canvas Graystone turns towards Shane who is just now getting to his feet and as he looks on perplexed by the matches Crow begins charging at him from behind…

Crow – 0% v Graystone© – 0%

Joe Hoffman:

Crow nails the champion from behind with his own running clothesline and the force of the blow sends both men out of the ring and they crash hard to the arena floor.

Shane wastes little time and begins kicking both men while they are down.

Big Buff:

DRINK FOR THAT FUCKING FLAMER NOT BEING A FAIR REF….DRINK I TELL YA!!!

Shane lifts both men up to their feet and locks them in and drives them down to the arena floor with a double DDT.

Joe Hoffman:

It was only a matter of time I suppose before Shane snapped from all the embarrassment he has taken from Max and the MK group.

Big Buff:

His fault he is a dumbass with his money…his fucking fault.

The crowd is not sure how to react as Shane moves towards the ring and once again bends down and begins something out from under the table..

Joe Hoffman:

A table? What is going on here….

Shane pulls the table out and sets it up. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small bottle and proceeds to pour the liquid inside of the bottle all over the table.

Big Buff:

I smell fucking gas…..where is security!!

Joe Hoffman:

This is all legal…this is a Hell in a Cell Inferno match and you know just as well as I that the ref is just as big of a part of this match as the wrestlers..especially when the ref is a man that has been knocked down so many times by these two people….Michelle ring a bell?

Big Buff:

DRINK! Last time I heard the name Michelle I was making sure she put a pinkie in my asshole as she swallowed all my little Benny’s…

Joe Hoffman:

Seriously? You went there…seriously?

Benny just shrugs as his eyes begin to glaze over more and more as all the alcohol from the night is finally hitting him…and hitting him hard.

Back to the action and both Crow and Graystone are struggling to their feet using the fence of the cell. Shane is smiling as he watches them get to their feet and then he charges and nails Graystone with a clothesline up against the steel and the force of the blow bounces Graystone down to the arena floor face first.

Shane turns towards Crow but the challenger was playing possum and he nails Shane with a right hand and continues to pummel the former ICON and World Champion and the crowd comes alive as Crow turns and whips Shane hard into the steel mesh of the cell and now it is Shane who is down holding his head in pain as Crow looks down at the chaos.

Joe Hoffman:

Crow has to realize that to win the title he has to burn Graystone..not Shane Reynolds.

Big Buff:

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..

Joe Hoffman:

Ralph?…….oh shit….I mean crap!!!!

Joe turns quickly but not in time as Benny spews a liquid rocket of puke at his announcing partner and Joe jumps to his feet as Benny falls face first to the concrete totally passed out.

Joe Hoffman:

Can we get some help out there…Jesus Christ I just bought this suit at Value City…

 

Crow – 0% v Graystone© – 0%

Back to the action and Crow has picked up Graystone and is rubbing the champions face against the steel mesh and with Shane out of commission for the time being, Mike Shea, has made his way over and is watching the action closely as Graystone begins to bleed from his forehead and it is only then that Crow finally stops and drops Graystone.

The Champion rolls around in pain as he holds his face and the cameras pick up blood coming thru his fingers and has he moves his hands we see that his face is covered in blood.

Joe Hoffman:

Ok I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Benny is out cold and I am wearing a fifth of Jack Daniels now cause of him and now we have Graystone bleeding like a stuck pig and his forehead looking like it just got eaten by a cheese grater…Jesus mary and Joseph!

Crow, seeing blood, bends down and picks Graystone up and this time drags him over to the steel ring steps and proceeds to deliver a perfect suplex landing Graystone’s back hard across the top step. Graystone doesn’t even bounce off the steps as he body just goes limp from the move and he is literally hanging on the top step.

Joe Hoffman:

Folks I am trying to maintain focus as much as I can but I don’t think you can see that I have a few medics here and they are trying to revive Benny who obviously might be dead….Jesus ….I cannot even sit down??!!

As Hoffman tries to get situated Crow has climbed up onto the ring apron and signals out to the crowd before running towards the fallen Graystone and he dives off and drops an elbow right across the exposed throat of the champion and people at ringside gasp in horror as blood spurts out like a volcano from the throat of the champion.

Joe Hoffman:

Oh my god…..Graystone…..oh dear…..you guys…leave Benny..go check on Graystone darn it!!

The medics look up but cannot see the action and keep trying to revive Newell who is shaking visibly now.

Back near ringside Crow is smiling down at Graystone who is gasping for air but cannot get any fresh air as his trachea could be crushed. Suddenly Graystone puts a finger down his throat and suddenly more blood begins to rush out of his mouth and everyone can hear a large intake of air come into his throat as the built up blood escapes.

Graystone begins to pant as he tries to regulate his breathing but there is no rest as Crow kicks him squarely in the face and continues to kick him until Graystone is crawling on his hands and knees towards the cell door.

The two men get about halfway across the floor when Shane Reynolds walks around the corner of the ring and he has a baseball bat covered in razor wire in his hand.

Joe Hoffman:

Oh hear god.

Shane then reaches behind him and brings forward a bucket and Crow stops in his tracks as Shane dips the bat into the bucket and then proceeds to light the bat with a match and the bat is quickly engulfed with flames as Graystone can still be seen crawling towards the cell door.

Joe Hoffman:

OH dear…..the fire is in play….what is going on with Benny guys!!??

The medics are now giving Benny mouth to mouth as Shane places the burning bat on the ring apron so that it doesn’t catch the ring on fire and then proceeds to throw the gasoline that was in the bucket up against the steel of the cell. He continues to walk towards Crow and as he does he dumps gasoline periodically up against the fence and this continues until Crow rolls into the ring to avoid Shane.

Shane stops and looks up at Crow in the center of the ring and then at Graystone who has made it to the cell door and has propped himself up against it as blood has covered the front part of his torso.

Shane then pulls out another match and bends down and lights it off his boot and everyone in the arena wants to know where he is going to put it and with a quick flick of his wrist tosses the match towards the table near ringside and within seconds the table goes up in flames and the visual is horrifying as there is a literal wall of fire between Crow and Shane.

Joe Hoffman:

Ok that’s it..get this match over with so I can take a damn shower……Benny??

Joe looks down and to his amazement Benny is sitting up and smiling as the Medics just shake their heads and Benny pushes them away and stumbles into his seat and as he sees the burning table…bloodied Graystone and Crow and Shane facing off…he only has one thought.

Big Buff:

HOW many drinks do I owe?

Crow – 0% v Graystone© – 0%

Joe Hoffman:

Um….7? you ok Benny?

Big Buff:

Ya sure I am ok oh look at the pretty fire and jeeeee ok just make sure to not use aknuckle when you lick my balls in the pudding……ppuuuuuuuuddddddddiiiinnnng

Joe Hoffman:

Ok….so now you are a perverted Bill Cosby advertising pudding?

Big Buff:

DRINKKKIEEEEE!!!

Joe shakes his head as Benny struggles to get a grip of his flask.

Back inside the ring Shane starts walking towards the ring but pauses as he nears the fire and instead of going after Crow he turns towards the man that took the innocence from his beloved Michelle.

Graystone.

Joe Hoffman:

Here we go….

Shane starts walking quickly towards Graystone but referee Mike Shea gets in front of Shane..

Mike Shea:

You have done enough Shane….just call the match…you are a …..

WHACK

Shane nails Mike with a right hand and then proceeds to drag him over towards the flaming table and as Shea screams out in terror Shane body slams him down onto of the table and the table breaks in half and Shea goes up in flames as the medics that were working on Benny try to enter the cell quickly but Boettcher is struggling to find the key.

Joe Hoffman:

OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD….SHANE IS OUT OF CONTROL AND HAS FULLY SNAPPED!!!!

Inside the ring Crow is unsure of what he should do as he watches as a deranged Shane Reynolds is now stalking after Graystone.

Seeing Shane coming after him Graystone reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of handcuffs he planned on using on Crow during the match. He proceeds to handcuff his left arm to the cell and motions for Shane to try and do that to him now…

Shane just stops and smiles at the man that caused all that pain to Michelle.

Back inside the ring Crow picks up a handful of matches and slides out of the ring and proceeds to quickly light a match and begins running along side the cell wall and finally reaches the point where Shane quit throwing gasoline earlier in the match and the cell wall quickly catches on fire as the gasoline begins burning and the fire begins to spread along the wall….right towards Graystone and Shane!!!

Joe Hoffman:

GRAYSTONE JUST HANDCUFFED HIMSELF……..MIKE SHEA IS BURNING TO DEATH!!!!

Boettcher finally finds the key and unlocks the door and just as the Medics enter they are stopped as a wall of fire spread across the door and throw them back as Shane dives out of the way and Graystone just smiles as the flames reach him and his arm is engulfed in flames and the flames begin spreading down his arm as Boettcher is screaming for the end of the match…

WINNER OF THE MATCH IN 28:31 AND NEW WORLD CHAMPION….CROW!!!!!!!

After a few moments the medics crash thru the door and one rushes towards Shea who is no longer rolling around in pain and is laying in a world of hurt, while the other medic rushes towards Graystone who is unconscious and still on fire.

The medics put the fires out quickly and the fans are in a complete state of shock as Shane Reynolds grabs the World Title and shoves it into the chest of Crow.

Joe Hoffman:

NEW WOLRD CHAMPION AND WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR GRAYSTONE……CROW…..AND SHANE REYNOLDS….FOLKS WE ARE OUTTA TIME AND ITS BEEN A ….

Undead by Hollywood Undead hits the PA system and the crowd all turns towards the entrance ramp as the theme music for Lee Best begins playing…

Big Buff:

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

POST SHOW..

Joe Hoffman:

What now? I mean what now…the show is over??

Big Buff:

Bacon….BACON….I SMELL FUFKCKING BUACKON FROM A LIL PIGGIE!!!

Joe can only shake his head as medics have stormed the ringside area to care for Shea and Graystone. But no one is focused on that..everyone is looking up towards the rampway …even Crow and Shane Reynolds who are standing side by side ironically.

Suddenly Lee appears and he has a rope in his hand and at the end of the rope out walks Besty.

Joe Hoffman:

Oh dear..seriously? Going to end this pay per view with this….c’mon!!

Lee starts walking the calf down to the ring but the calf is stubborn and then we find out way as it drops about three pounds of shit right on the entrance way.

Lee Best:

That’s ok Besty….Blaze will be cleaning that shit up later…c’mon girl…lets go….

The calf begins slowly following Lee down the entrance ramp and Lee motions for everyone to get out of the damn way as he is going for Graystone.

Then suddenly out of nowhere a couple of people jump out from the crowd and everyone quickly realizes that its Bobbinette Carey and Dylan Nitro.

Nitro nails Lee with a right hand as Carey begins leading Besty back towards the back. Neither Shane or Crow move as they watch Lee get held down by Nitro.

Carey and the calf make it to the top of the entrance ramp and suddenly Jatt Starr appears with a smile on his face.

Carey starts talking trash to Jatt but it is short-lived as Jatt rushes her and nails her with a wicked clothesline and begins bouncing her head off the steel entrance ramp as the crowd begins booing loudly.

Jatt stops when he realizes that Carey is out. With a smile he looks at Carey…then at Besty…then back to Carey…and then back to Besty.

But then he sees Nitro holding Lee down and he rushes down and as he is running he pulls off the UAD title around his waist and Nitro ducks the shot and falls into the crowd as Jatt helps Lee back up to his feet and the two Best Alliance members make it up to the entrance ramp and Lee smiles as he sees Carey out cold.

Lee Best:

Shall we?

Jatt Starr:

We Shall…

March to Glory quickly goes black however before we can see what Jatt and Lee had in mind for Carey.

END OF TRANSMISSION

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