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Killing A Lady Killer


Some could call it a game changer... some could say it’s one of the biggest shockers of the year so far... some could just say it is Scotty being Scotty and pulling another surprise out of the sleeve of his dragon printed shirt.  But what they can’t argue over is the facts that Scottywood is the new General Manager of HOW and COOL Reality are the now co-number one contenders for the HOW Tag Team Titles.

Titles that they possess.

So doesn’t that make them nine tenths of the champions?

And then one twentieths of the number one contenders?

--There is a pause as our narrator has a near brain aneurism.--

Ok, enough math for today.  Well just say that Scottywood is in possession of one of the Best Alliance’s Tag Team titles... and Cancer Jiles the other one.  While their tag team partner this week, Bobby Dean has “legal” possession of what was Mike Best’s LSD title.

You can take notes if it helps you follow along... but don’t fret, there will be no test afterwards.

Anyhow, one half of the Law of Possession HOW Tag Team champions, “The Hardcore Artist”, “The Anti-Christ”, or the so called “Push-Up King” Scottywood is ironicly banging out some pussh ups while he waits for the rookie HOW cameraman to get ready.

“Two thousand and forty six, two thousand and forty seven, two thousand and forty eight...” Counts Scotty with relative ease as the cameraman cuts in.

“I’m all set Mister Woodson.” States the seemingly straight out of college kid who aims the camera at The Hardcore Artist.

“Please just call me Scotty.  I’m certainly not some three piece suit, ass sniffing corporate slave... and I more than frequently act like I am still twenty-three years old, so I don’t deserve to be called Mister.” Replies The Hardcore Artist as he pops up from the ground and we see that he on the stage of the Blue Arena.  Dressed in his limited wardrobe usual of sneakers, black jeans and a cutoff Scottywood t-shirt, he certainly hasn’t embraced the attire of his new job.  Then again who ever thought he would?

Oh... and he is of course sporting one half of The Best Alliance’s Tag Team titles.  Titles that if you believe the pretty sound logic of Scottywood... should legally be COOL Reality’s.  But we won’t argue stacked decks versus playing fair tonight.  The BA will get theirs at Rumble at the Rock and there will be no flim flaming going on at Alcatraz.  Just cold hard justice being dished out by Cool Reality.

The red light on the camera lights up as Scotty smiles... it’s his first recorded words since he announced that he had become the new General Manager of HOW.

“As much fun as I have already had with my new job... it really is cutting into my drinking schedule.  Then again, anything would cut into something always fills up said schedule.  Which is making me really want a beer...”
He pauses for a moment on the stage... probably deciding what he wants before he places his order.

“FRANKIE!!!!  Get me a Lagunitas!!” yells Scotty as we can hear a loud crash backstage as Scotty smirks, knowing his order has been heard.  He only has to wait for a moment before Frankie rushes out, and as ordered, a bottle of Lagunitas IPA in his hand.

“Here ya go Scotty.” As Frankie hands the beer off to Scotty who reaches for the bottle opener on his keychain and pops the top off the bottle.

“Thanks Frankie”

“No problem Scotty... So have you thought anymore about a match for me next week?” Eagerly asks Frankie... his eyes lit up as if it may be Christmas morning and he’s about to opener a kick ass present.

“You know what... I actually have.  See, Chris Diamond wants to pick on people who don’t have HOW contracts?  Well I have found a perfect match for him.  No, not Luchadors De Muerte or whatever the fuck they are called.  I’ve got the six-time NGW Untamed champion... Frankie the Cameraman!” He smiles as Frankie starts to jump up and down on the stage like a little girl who just got a pony for Christmas.

“Thank you daddy!” Screams Frankie as he bolts backstage....

“Though just because I have “found” Frankie, doesn’t mean I’ll actually book it.  More so wanted to prove a point of how fucking stupid... and more so insulting it is for you to be talking shit about people who aren’t even in HOW.  You have failed to pin me or Cancer in two straight matches... but you have plenty of time to trash talk Kostoff, trash talk De Muertes and just assume that you're going to somehow just beat COOL eGG Reality?  That name is a work in progress.” As Scotty starts to make his way down the ramp to the ring.

He places his hand on the bottom rope and gives it a pull before letting go.  it shakes back and forth, the verberations sent through to the adjacent ropes as Scotty shakes his head.

“To step in this ring is a privilege Chris.  And I don’t just mean ANY wrestling ring, I mean a HOW ring.  You need to respect every man you walk into this ring with... something you obviously haven’t learned yet.  Which is why I booked this match.  You have the second biggest mouth right now in HOW... only second to me.  But the difference is that I have the talent to back what I say up Chris.  I’ve beaten your ass twice... I’ve won countless titles here in HOW, last over four years and oh ya... I’m in the fuckin’ Hall of Fame.  You Chris... what the fuck have you and Same done?  What grand accomplishments have you achieved?  Oh and beating LDM at War Games doesn’t count or beating Chance Von Crank doesn’t count since they both fuckin blow balls and both are soon to no longer have HOW Contracts.”

Scotty rolls into the ring, of course making sure that he doesn’t spill an ounce of his beer.  He

stands up and surveys the ring inside the empty Blue Arena.  A ring he has stepped into for 125 previous HOW matches.  Certainly more than anyone would have ever expected when he joined HOW in 2008.  But Scottywood has always been known for his loyalty.  Just look at his seven year run of NGW... which included several revivals until it was just no longer a feasible promotion.

“I never thought there would come a time that I would step into a wrestling ring with more respect for it then I had for the one that I took to heights that many never expected.  NGW was my home.  It was my wrestling life day in and day out.  But over the past few months here in HOW I have started to understand that HOW has someone managed to accomplish the impossible... that it has become more important... more respected by myself then my very own creation.  In short, HOW has become my new home, my new wrestling life.  Not that I will ever forget NGW, it will forever hold a special place in my life, but HOW has done just so much for me.  It has taken my career to new levels that I never thought of before in NGW.”

He makes his way over to one of the corner and takes a seat on the mat and leans up against the turnbuckles as he has a drink from his beer.  Maybe thinking over his past twelve years in the business or maybe thinking about the only few matches that possibly remain in it.

“So I feel it is now my responsibility to put those that disrespect HOW in their fucking place... just like those in HOW did to me when I first started.  But the difference between me on then and The Lady Killers of now?  I actually had talent to back my shit up with.  I was able to fight with them and earn their respect.  While you Diamond... you have NOTHING to back your twitter tweets and promo posts up with.  I’m going to tear you the fuck apart come Mayhem... tear you to an inch of your fucking lives.  Then I am going to leave you... leave you for a fate that is much worse than death.  A fate that you two will never come back to HOW from!” exclaims Scotty as he finishes his beer and spikes it in the middle of the ring... successfully smashing it unlike Gronkowski earlier in the day.

Suddenly "Don't Hate Me (Because I'm Beautiful)" by Nerfherder a.k.a. Mike Best’s theme music hits over the P.A. system as Scotty’s body twists towards the entrance way and he prepares for a fight.  He waits for a moment and then finally we see a figure make their way out from backstage.

“Alice?” questions Scotty as his red hair and tattooed friend makes her way out from backstage and down towards the ring.  Scotty still puzzled as to why she is coming out to Mike Best’s music.  She walks up the steel steps with caution as Scotty opens the ropes to make her entrance into the ring a little easier.

“Really?  Mike Best’s music?” questions Scotty to Alice who smiles and shrugs her shoulders.

“That was Mike Best’s music?  Had no idea.  I just wanted to be cool like a wrestler and make a grand entrance.  So the tech guy told me to pick some music and that one looked most appealing.  Really makes me question this Mike Best’s sexuality if we have the same tastes in music.”

“I’ve questioned that for a long time... but sadly no concrete proof.” Responds Scotty as he starting to want another beer to replace the one he has finished.

“But I came out here to ask you, did you really grant Frankie a match on Mayhem next week?  Not that I really care if he gets destroyed by Diamond... was just curious because he won’t shut the fuck up about it.” Says Alice with a little bit of annoyance in her voice.  She never signed on to be some kind of babysitter, especially for a “kid” old enough to buy his own booze.

“I never specifically said he had the match.  He just assumed that from what may have been some misleading words by myself.  Though if I ever booked Frankie versus Diamond... it would be a hell of a lot closer than most people would expect.  I mean Frankie isn’t completely helpless in the ring and Diamond can only beat wet bags of sand.  But I wouldn’t do that to Diamond.” Says Scotty as he shakes his head, sorta disappointed in himself in a way.

“Why not?” Ponders Alice... who maybe actually hopes that Diamond would destroy Frankie and rid him from Scotty’s side.

“Because that would be a dirty BA tactic.  Something like what Michael DeNucci pulled against me when he booked Gino in that HOFC title match against me.  That was a fucking slap in the face, a sign of total disrespect towards me and the HOFC title.  And while I think that Chris Diamond doesn’t deserve to be in HOW... I respect him just enough to have HOW wrestlers destroy him.  That way in his death... because that fucker will die... he will have some shred of honor.” Claims Scotty as he shows what separates his fucked up soul from The Best Alliance’s fucked up souls... respect.

“We are going to tear The Lady Killers apart... demolish their egos that they have somehow undeservedly attained and bring them back down to a level in HOW that is more suited for their talent... or lack talent level.  They wanna build heat with tag teams?  Well come Mayhem they will feel the heat from COOL Reality and Bobby Stevens as we burn the fuckin Lady Kilers alive!” States Scotty as he signals the cameraman to cut the feed as he rolls through the ropes and to the floor.

“Someone get me another fuckin’ beer!  Frankie!” Yells Scotty as he makes his way backstage, presumably to his office where he expects a cold Lagunitas IPA sitting on his desk.

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